GainesvilleMoms.com

Postpartum Depression -- Have you ever dealt with it, and do you have advice for other moms who may be experiencing it?

I'm sure that everyone does in one form or another.

Every mother that I know has at least one day when the baby cried all day, then daddy gets home and wants to rest and mommy hasn't slept in 3 days and then the in-law's show up unannounced......but at least they brought food. That was a flashback I was so upset that day that I took my food, handed the baby to her grandmother and retreated to my room to cry and eat my ultimate sub. The next day I was fine.

But I was also lucky. So many women have these days over and over and think it's normal. It's not normal if it happens over a longer period of time. Your body gets so screwy for nine months (or more...) that I think it forgets how to go back to normal. Or what normal even is anymore. It's really important for women to talk to their OB and get help. Wow...did that sound like a public service announcement or what?

"and the inlaws show up unannounced."

Is it just me, or do in-laws do this? I hated people showing up unannounced just days after I had a baby.

I had it really bad after my daughter and didn't even realize it. Hubby and I were living in Ft. Lauderdale at the time and we had no family living near us at all. The closest relatives were 6 hours away and my parents and in-laws lived in Indiana.

At first I was fine. Hubby stayed home for the first week. My parents and in-laws came to visit over Christmas. And at the end of the first month I took a trip to Indiana to show J off. But when I got back...it was awful! Hubby was in the middle of a big project that had been forced upon him. He was working 12 - 18 hour days most days and the days he wasn't working as many hours he'd come home and crash.

J was really the best baby you could have imagined, but she was still a baby. All of a sudden I went from working and seeing my coworkers every day to being hauled up in a house 24/7 with a crying baby. UGH! So, in the evenings at 5:00 on the dot, I would call hubby at work to find out when he was going to be home. He would generally give me a tentative time like another hour. So, I would call again one hour later on the dot. It usually got to the point where I was having an out of body experience. I would be yelling at him about how he wasn't spending any time with us while all the time I knew that I shouldn't be yelling at him and I knew it wasn't his choice to work all of those hours.

Finally, we sat down one day and had a serious talk about things. Hubby told me that he no longer came home to see me, but his daughter. That's when I decided it was time for me to visit a Dr. They put me on Paxil and I was on that for 1 1/2 years. Best thing I could have done for myself. I also found a "mommy" group around the same time and began making friends and going out. That helped tremendously too.

I think getting out and about is the most important thing to do! I had a lot of problems with work being pregnant (something about a mans profession and pregnant women don't mix well... and dont even get me started on breastfeeding at work!) So the end of my pregnancy was really stressful, and I was put on bedrest at the same time we were closing on our house. The first six weeks of my daughter's life I was home... and with a crying baby and my husband working to remodel our new home... and I went stir crazy. I had had an emergency C section, and was recovering from that, and even taking the baby to the grocery store was a daunting task! So i agree, I went from being at work all the time with my coworkers to being in a house by myself with a baby... so looking back now I am sure that I had it, but maybe it was more situational than anything....

I definitely think more research needs to be down as far as treatment and information for this.... mothers don't go home expecting to be as tired and down as they sometimes are...

After my third, I had it but didn't realize that was it. I wished I would have gotten professional help. I was an emotional wreck. I had a 3 1/2 year old, almost-2 year old, and a newborn. My sister moved in with us into our two-bedroom apartment to get away from a bad relationship she had just been in. Needless to say, I was exhausted. My 2 year old just hit the terrible twos badly, after being the world's easiest baby. And my newborn was very demanding. I also felt fat which contributed to my depression. Most of my friends were skinny, even after their babies, and I just felt like a whale and had to wear maternity clothes for a while until I just gave in and went to Old Navy and bought some bigger clothes to get by. Ugh. I shiver just thinking back. I always wanted four kids, but just the thought of having another baby scares me. If I had gotten some help, then maybe I would have enjoyed those days better. I was just in survival mode for a long time, and dh was so patient and understanding. But I don't think he wants any more after the way I was during and after pregnancy.

I was sure I was in a depression the other day when I called Suzy sobbing saying I didn't want to hold my baby. She asked me lots of questions and we worked it through logically. Turns out I've just felt guilty for him being sick since he got the Strep B bacteria from me (I know it's not my fault but that doesn't matter to mommies) and then I got poison ivey and then flipped out when I noticed some red bumps on his face (turned out to be acne). I felt like a walking contaminate and was worried, paranoid, and guilt-ridden...she said, "Welcome to motherhood." It's true. One hour and some Chic-Fil-A later and I was calmed down and ready to breast feed again.

i never really experienced any of it but i think it's because of what someone else noted, i was out and about really early. earlier than most other mommies thought i should be. i'm not a stay in the house kind of person anyway, but after i had my daughter, i needed sunshine. i refused to stay inside. she went to church at a week old, we visited our neighbors and i did my own shopping. but remember, i was living a state away from all of my family and i had only been there less than a year.

i know most of you are cringing right now but my babies were very healthy and looking back, i believe it is what kept me mentally healthy.

I went through it with my second. It was the sobbing/sad type..I just felt completely disconnected. Like when he would cry, I was just very blah about it...I really couldn't care one way or the other. And he was really such a good baby. I think it's really important to talk to your doc...my was awesome. I had really started feeling guilty about just not caring and she really helped me. I also read Brooke Shields book...I highly recommend it...even if you aren't going through it, it's just a really good book.

My wife has dealt with this for a while now. It is very serious. i would agree that Brooke Shields book is great. It as helped to open both of our eyes regarding this. However, the problem that I had was that there are no support groups that I can find in this area. I emailed experts in Jacksonville and elsewhere and they were unaware of support groups. There really needs to be one because this is a very serious issue which could cause major problems, not only for the mother, but also for the shole family.

I recall days where I felt very sad and hopeless. I was not expecting this as I REALLY wanted to have my children and was very ready to enjoy this new phase of my life! I think it is really due to hormones, lack of sleep and the stress of caring for a small baby....it is such a big lifestyle change-one really cannot prepare for just how big a change it truly is. If it is your first, or 4th...each one comes w/o a manual and is diff from the others, or diff from other babies you have been around. It seems to improve as the Mom starts to feel physically better and the baby starts eating/sleeping better! Hang in there, you are not alone. I think talking to other moms really helped me understand I was not alone....which always feels better .