GainesvilleMoms.com

Yesterday my wife said that she would like to have another child in about 5 years. I pretended not to hear her but I did. We have 4 kids now and we are young but another kid. At what point should we stop? I do not want to have another kid. If we stop now we will be in our mid 40's before our newborn is old enough to kick out of the house.
I do not want to be in my 50's or 60's with teenagers. I would like grandkids at that age but not my own teenagers. You can give grandkids back to their parents but you are stuck with yours. Wow, another child in 5 years. I know I sound selfish but another kid that is insane. She is trying to take full advantage of me being at home but in 5 years. We have to have some type of compromise. Maybe goldfish or some type of pet that requires very little attention.

I'm thinking goldfish isn't going to ease your wife's desire for another baby. But who knows, maybe time will? Either way, you guys have 5 years to figure it out! Anything can change at that point, even your own desire!
Besides, 50 isn't all that old anymore when people are living longer!

hehe I think some women just cant get enough I told my fiance that I would want ten kids if I could and he also pretended not to hear me lol.But I agree with hotmomma goldfish wont do it but maybe time will.good luck

I always wanted kids young and wanted to have all the children me and my spouse wanted by 25 LOL yes specific I know... but I really wanted as much time as possible in my life for my kids and grand kids and so on....

So I agree with you 'Hubbylife'... not so sure I would be up for kids later in life.. 5 years is a long time to wait and then have a baby. However like others have said... time will tell... maybe remind her she will, I assume, get grandkids down the road!!!!!!! That might help...less work too, still rewarding

(lol that is what I would argue with my spouse)

Hubby life, I agree with you completely. My husband and I were married young and decided to have 2 kids by the age of 25. I couldn't be happier with the daughter and son we've been blessed with. Now I'm looking forward to more nieces and nephews down the road. But, in no uncertain terms do I want another child myself. I hope to be able to raise the wonderful children I already have to be productive adults. I hope to not only be able to afford to give them the basics, but a few extras along the way too. I hope to be able to help them with college expenses some day and possibly with their down payment on a first home. I want to be able to start retirement at a reasonable age if I'm financially able.

Luckily, hubby is completely on board with me. I don't think it's selfish at all to want to stop with the 4 kids you have now. Especially when you are the one staying home and taking care of the kids. I stay home as well and can't wait to go back to work once I get moved. I love my kids, but I love adult time too.

I have to admit that if this were me, I would actually do the opposite of wait and see. I would make it clear to my spouse as gently as possible, that I enjoy the children that we currently have. That I couldn't imagine myself being any happier than I am right now, and that I don't see another baby in my future. 5 years is a long time to get worked up about having another child, especially if your wife doesn't change her mind. In the end I know that if I were her, I would want to know sooner rather than later that you aren't looking to expand your family any further.

Well...we waited to have kids...I was 28 when we had our first and 33 for the second and honestly, we are discussing a third. We do have one of each (boy and girl) but our youngest is 3 now and I do miss having a baby. I know that if we were to have one more I would be done. But we haven't decided yet on whether we are going to have one more. I do know what you mean about age though...my hubby is 5 years younger than me..so it's not as big a deal to him..but I am constantly saying...well when my kids are in their 20's, I'm going to be heading into my 50's...but I've been trying to just let that go...

Well, for those of you who don't know my story...let's just say that when my DH first had kids (with Wife No. 1), well, that was back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, LOL!

Then once we were married and our first came along, I was...hhhmmm.....let's just say very, very ripe. Now we have 3 together, and will be welcomong our 4th, hopefully later this year. Age ain't nuttin' but a number, you're as young as you feel, all those cliches are true. And my husband, now a grandfather, would not trade his time or life with our babies for anything.

Everyone is different, certainly, and it's smart to know your limits of time, money, and energy...and it's better if both parents are in agreement on a decision that big. But one thing DH and I have learned the hard, hard way is "never say never" and that life is usually full of surprises. Sometimes much greater than even your wildest hopes and dreams!

I just wanted to throw in that I wouldn't do anything permanent until you both reach a mutual agreement. I've known married couples who now are dealing with resentment issues because one of them decided to permanently resolve the issue while the other wasn't ready to take that step yet. I think it should be a decsion both people make (that's a part of marriage anyway, right?)

It may take some time, but it's worth waiting it out. Hubby and I both went back and forth on this topic. When I wanted another, he wasn't ready. When he was ready, I'd changed my mind. I ended up with this surprise pregnancy (due June 30th) and during my pregnancy, told hubby that I just wasn't sure I wanted this to be the last. He was wonderful about it and said that he would wait to get a vasectomy until I was sure. But as time has progressed, I've realized that as much as I'd love to do this again, it would be best for us as a family (and couple) to stop now.

So I think if the two of you talk things out and patiently wait for the right answer, eventually you both will figure it out.

It is not an easy desicion. I have always wanted one more baby. But when I was with my ex he wouldn't not even discuss the issue. It was no and that was it. It mad me really mad and I resented him for it. Not because he didn't want another, but because he refused to even talk about it. To him it was no and that was it.
(Another reason why I am glad we are not together anymore!)
With my husband now, we both want one more, so for us it was an easy decision. Our hard part is deciding when.

TripleAmom...I couldn't agree with you more! Sure, when I was younger I thought I'd get married young and have all my kids pretty early but life didn't work out that way. I am expecting #2 in November and with this pregnancy I am considered "advanced maternal age" by traditional standards but I don't feel advanced by any means! And even though #2 isn't here yet, I am already thinking how nice it would be have to a third in another couple of years. Plenty of time to deal with that but if hubby and I are both up for it, I wouldn't necessarily let my age be a limiting factor.

wait a second... you all have kids ON PURPOSE?!?

lol

It usually is best to agree on these life-changing decisions. I hope you and your wife can come to some kind of compromise that you're both happy with. If that means another, then good luck and have fun