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O.K so the biological clock is silently ticking in the back of my head. I would like some advice-
Our son turned 3 last May. I am in my last year at UF. Recently my husband made the comment that he has almost given up on the idea of having another baby because Colin is over 3 and by the time we do have another one they would be too far apart. I definitely want more children, but when is the best time?
My mother has told me that I need to have another one, as well as my sister in law, and even Colin has started saying that he wants a baby sister.
I feel that the greatest gift I can give my children is completing my education. I am not sure I can waddle around UF pregnant and keep the GPA that I want and be a good mother. I know other people have done it, but I was miserable the last trimester with Colin. So my question is- Is 4 or 5 years apart, siblings, too far, should I just do it all and have another one now and complete school? Any stories to share that relate?
Also, when I became pregnant the first time we worked really hard to buy a house and my husband took a job teaching so he wasn't traveling and we could have better health care. Colin wasn't planned but not completely unplanned either, my clock was ticking extremely loud at that time,haha.

The best answer I can give you is quite an aggravating one to get, so forgive me. If you decide to wait until the time is right, all your ducks are in a row and so forth, you will never have another one. There is no such thing as the "right" time for perfectly adding to the family. There are surely bad times to do so but we don't know about the bad times until they are upon us so how can you wait and see, ya know? Our kids are about 2 1/2 years apart and while Zane was an option, his arrival was not the "best time" in many ways - but you know, we're dealing with it and he's fine, we're fine and in the long run, it might have been a good time after all. One thing is for sure about Moms, we WILL find a way to deal!

Best wishes with whatever you decide!

Ive got to go with Michelle V. I would have given you the same "your ducks will NEVER all be in a perfect row" sentiment. I've got another kid on the way, and it definitely isnt the best time for our family to grow larger, but when he or she gets here we will be ready (even if we arent ready, we will be ready, because we wont have any other choice!)

If you know you want a larger family go for it, neither one of my boys were planned, I was on birth control pills when I got pregnant with Tyler and tried the IUD the second time around and got pregnant with Ethan, you could look at me sideways and that is all it would take..LOL!!! I wouldn't trade it for anything, they are both wonderful and so is my stepson. My two younger ones are about 3 1/2 years apart and it seems ideal some days and infuriating others, just go for it. Your a mom, you can do anything...don't you know we have super powers?!!! LOL!!

You know your body, and if you are skeptical that you can finish up your last year of school the way you want while being preggo, I say wait. BUT, I agree with everyone above as well that no time is the perfect time. My daughter was nearly 4 1/2 when my son was born. I happen to think this was a wonderful span in age.

I also have a sister who's son is turning 6 in November. She was just a freshman in college when she had him, so very young. Due to finishing college and now trying to find a job in this economy, her and her husband have yet to try for #2, even though she really wants to. I would be so sad if she decided not to have another simply because the age span is too great.

I don't know if this makes sense, but my advice would be, it's never the right time, but it's never the wrong time. If you wait until you're done with school, then you'll be looking for a job or just starting a job. But if you don't wait, you'll have a new baby to love and adore.

My husband used to always say we'd wait til we had our ducks in a row. Well, we just had our first baby, a daughter, this year....and I am 34, hubby is 48. By the time she's 18, he'll be 66. He jokes that one day she's going to be changing his diapers and wiping up his drool. Please don't wait as long as we did

We have another one on the way and they will only be almost exactly 1 year apart but at our age, who can wait?

Hey! No age discrimination here!! I hated having that lovely "AMA" tag given to me because of my "Advanced Maternal Age" like it was a disease! Had they known me in my non-advanced years, they would have agreed that waiting was a good plan! LOL

I had Macy at 39 and Zane at 41 - they're a handful but totally healthy!

Oh dear. This question has REALLY been on my mind lately. My husband and I have been talking about when, if ever, we want to have another baby. We are pretty sure we want to have another, but when!?

I had my daughter my freshman year at UF and figured I would wait until I finished school to have the next. Well, I will be done in April so the time is coming. I've thought about if I was to get pregnant now, that would be great, but do I want to walk across the stage at graduation with a big ol' belly. Then, do I want to be having a baby while I am trying to land a job. There are so many things to think about. What about how far apart they are? It's just to much!

I guess when it comes down to it, I agree with what everyone else has said. There is never a "good" time. Life is always going to be throwing something unexpected your way.

quote:

Originally posted by michelle v:
Hey! No age discrimination here!! I hated having that lovely "AMA" tag given to me because of my "Advanced Maternal Age" like it was a disease! Had they known me in my non-advanced years, they would have agreed that waiting was a good plan! LOL

I had Macy at 39 and Zane at 41 - they're a handful but totally healthy!

I agree...I had my 3 year old exactly 30 days after my 39th birthday! ...and hubby has asked lately if I want one more!!

Wow, thank you all for your input! I agree there is never the perfect time-
I have been thinking that if I go ahead now or near future than I would still have some time to be at home some what before I have to find a job and my mother in law is retiring soon, so I'd have a nanny and I wouldn't be stressed about putting my baby in day care.
So I'd have it out of the way before I have to start working- that's what I fear most, getting a job and then turning around and asking for maternity leave.
I haven't nailed down my decision but I know I'm starting to miss having a little baby around!
Right or wrong time- a baby is always a blessing -
Thanks! Amanda.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Stacy Fournier:


I've thought about if I was to get pregnant now, that would be great, but do I want to walk across the stage at graduation with a big ol' belly. Then, do I want to be having a baby while I am trying to land a job. There are so many things to think about. What about how far apart they are? It's just to much!

Stacy, we sound like our minds are just alike at the moment-
My sister and I both had our first babies 3 days apart, I put school on hold, she didn't- she graduated 5 days before he was due and she thought it was best thing graduating and having her son next-
Thanks for your input!

My hubby and I are the king and queen of waiting until the "ducks are in a row". We kept saying, "1 more year and it will be the right time". Much to our surprise we had a hard time getting pregnant and I started to panic as my (younger) siblings started to pop them out like no tomorrow! We had #1 at 34 and #2 at 36. We had a boy and a girl. We feel we were completely blessed and the the timing ended up being perfect for us. I think it would have been perfect at any time though .

Like most of you I think there will never be the perfect time. Hannah was planned, but we just did it and figured out how to make it work. Emma was a....surprise. We knew we wanted more, but Micah had just gotten a new job with at least a 1 year probation, there were concerns about it being a pre-existing condition for our insurance company (it was not) and we were pretty much broke. But Someone knew we could handle it and we did!

colinsmoma: I think I understand your fustration but also what your dreams and goals are. I don't think it is going to be a "painful" experience for their ages to be that far apart. Although at the same time I understand his thinking.

the only thing I can say to you is this...God has a purpose for all of us-even those not born into this world yet. I think He knows when it be the right time for you to have your next baby. When the time comes, it will be one of God's greatest gift to you, no matter when that time is. Have faith...trust in Him....He will bless you with that child in time. It may be tommarrow...it may be next month...it may be next year or the year after that. It doesn't matter when...it will be right time and given by God.