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Picture of Stacy Fournier
# of kids: 2-year-old daughter

Posted
I am just shocked. Absolutely speechless. England, which has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe, is bringing sex education to all school, including kindergarten. Children will be taught about relationships/contraceptions. The lessons will be become more sophisticated as the students get older. Click here to read about it.

Those is kindergarten won't actually learn about the birds and the bees, but they are going to learn about themselves, their differences, their friendships and how to manage their feelings.

What do you think about this? I think it's just absolutely sad that children so young are learning about such mature topics. But on the other hand, I know that students are starting to explore things at a much earlier age. Nonetheless, I don't think I would want my daughter learning about these things at age 5!
 
Posts: 1426 | Registered: 01 July 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post

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I think that teaching children at an early age about the differences between boys and girls is very important. I have a 7 year old daughter and I am glad that I have been stressing what is appropriate and what is not because she was touched by a boy in her music class. Since she was taught that this was wrong she was comfortable in coming to me and my husband to let us know that this happened so that we could address it. Unfortunately, the male music teacher put the blame on her for the boy grabbing her and kissing her. If all parents taught their children that there are boundries then it would not be up to the schools to teach them.

This type of information given in a learning environment if handled properly could reinforce the lessons taught in the home or just give the basics to children whose parents do not feel comfortable discussing it or just think that young children are unaware of all the mixed messages that are out there regarding sex could help teach children how to respect one another.

Our children deserve to have the information about how to protect themselves because we are not always going to be there to save them. We as parents should be the ones educating them not the schools but if we are unwilling to step up to the plate then they should get the information from the people that we entrust their educations to. These programs would be scrutinized very carefully by child care professionals.

I for one would be glad to have someone other than the parents reinforcing the standards of conduct. Our children idolize their teachers at a young age and they think of their elementary teachers as being smarter than Mom and Dad. Take if from me I have a 14 year old son that still thinks highly of most of his elementary school teachers.

This program may one day prevent a crime against a member of the opposite sex in England.
 
Posts: 1 | Registered: 26 October 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of 3monkeys
From: California
# of kids: 3 boys (7, 5, and 3)

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My first thought is that these topics should be something that children should be taught at home, and that it's not the government's responsibility. But unfortunately not all kids are going to be taught about the differences of boys and girls in an appropriate manner, if at all, at home. I hope that they take very careful consideration of what they plan to teach and expose the children to, as not all kids are ready at the same time.

I know that my boys are oblivious to the concept of s*x. They do know that God made boys and girls different, and we have taught them about appropriate/inappropriate touching, and about modesty and privacy. I just don't think they are mature enough yet to learn more than that quite yet. *Sigh* I hope that time doesn't come too soon.


Marianne

 
Posts: 407 | Location: Gainesville | Registered: 28 March 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of klmorg
# of kids: 3 kids, all girls, 17, 15 and 3

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This one is tough...I agree with Michelle....I shudder at what they are already teaching our kids in school on this level. I certainly don't want my 4 or 5 year old child to be told by a teacher what is considered appropriate touching!! And no...I definitely don't think my children EVER thought that their elementary teachers were smarter than my husband and I KNOW that they didn't idolize them. They were simply teachers. If you provide your child with love, security, and teach them these things when and as they should be taught then a teacher will NEVER be more of a influence on your child than you have been. Don't get me wrong now...my kids have had some great teachers that have greatly influenced and guided my children and I am grateful to them, but I hope and pray that while I know other adults will influence my kids that my husband and I are still the constant adult role models and most consistent influence to them. If we do our parental job to our best ability that is how it should be.

I understand that some children aren't taught what they need to be at home. I wish there were some way to help them out without influencing and exposing my child too but there isn't. I don't want anyone but my husband or me talking to my kids about such private, personal and important information!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: klmorg,
 
Posts: 960 | Location: Chiefland, Florida | Registered: 23 April 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of JillW
# of kids: 3 boys and 1 girl

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It seems like people are reading too much into this because of the sensationalized headline. None of it is new. Most children already know that boys and girls are different, and it shouldn't be shameful if they are curious. As a preK teacher, I teach children about relationships and "how to manage their feelings" without any controversy or inappropriateness--it's probably exactly what the article is talking about which is a far cry from actual sex ed. We teach them to be respectful of the opposite sex in appropriate ways, such as teaching the boys to stay out of the restroom while the girls are using it and vice versa. It's important for children to be empowered to expect a degree of privacy when doing private things like using the bathroom (especially in light what we know about grooming by sexual predators). Even if kids are taught at home, this does not always automatically translate into new and different settings with new and different rules. Teaching kids about healthy relationships and sex does not mean they are going to do it, in fact, I think it makes it less likely since they become aware of the consequences.

It seems like most of the comments on this article are coming from the viewpoints of those who have not experienced a lack of innocence in their own childhoods. Growing up right here in Gainesville in an average family, I knew tons of kids that had sex at 11, 12 years old, in fact, one of my elementary classmates had a baby at age 11. Kids would tease you for being a virgin when I was in middle and high school. Even before I knew what sex was I remember kids talking about sex and getting certain ideas about it from images on TV and magazines (and that was 25 years ago when things weren't nearly as bad as they are now.) I only wish I had been given a little more early comprehensive education on "managing relationships" and the real expectations and consequences of sex, so that I could have felt confident standing up to my peers and had a reason for not engaging in certain behavior. And I had good parents . . . they just didn't understand the reality of the things I was confronted with because of course kids didn't share these things with their parents and parents thought the kids were "too young" to be dealing with these mature topics.

I personally think it's great for kids to be taught age-appropriate real truth about relationships and sex. Then when they are old enough they will be informed enough to hopefully make healthy decisions based on facts from teachers and parents, not rumors and misinformation from their same-age peers. Unfortunately, if misinformation gets to children first, they tend to believe it - even when they are later given correct information it is shaped by the previous incorrect knowledge. Yes, I agree that it is the parent's responsibility to teach about sex and relationships, but sometimes in the interest of protecting our children and preserving their innocence, we put off the introduction of certain topics. If we (by we I mean adults as a whole, not just the parents that care) don't teach kids first what is okay and what is not, how can we expect them to protect themselves when confronted with a bad situation?

We can go on and on about how parents, not teachers, should be responsible for this, but we have to face the fact that many parents do not do their job, and even if they try they may not always have appropriate and correct information themselves. Does this mean that we don't do what we can to educate their children so that they can at least have a chance of growing up and becoming better parents themselves? Our children will be the ones that have to deal with the consequences of the educational decisions for this generation. I'll shut up now . . . sorry, but it just really gets to me when we only think about our kids and our specific situation and not the kids whose parents may be lacking. All children are our responsibilty, even those whose parents do not take care of their responsibilities to our standard.
 
Posts: 3 | Location: Gainesville, FL | Registered: 26 October 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of Nathaniel Hensley
# of kids: 2 girls (3 and a half, and 9 months)

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You all make some very good comments. JillW gives us a side of the story that maybe a lot of us hadnt considered.

Maybe some of it for me has to do with the definition of "sex education." For me personally, telling a child not to touch the private areas of others is NOT sex education, it's a basic rule for living in a society that everyone needs to know. So if THAT is the kind of sex ed we're talking about, that's one thing. But if it's learning how to put a condom on a vegetable, that's a different matter.

No offense of jillw, or any of the fine teachers I know personally. In general, teachers are great people. But I don't know everyone who will be teaching my kids, and I can't assume they are all on the ball. We've all known terrible teachers, or teachers who have burned out and no longer care, and putting my children's sexual education in their hands does not appeal to me.

Some teachers can't get the handle of teaching grammar, so I can't shake the feeling that asking them to teach our kids about sex is biting off a bit more than they can chew.


Nate

Link
 
Posts: 405 | Location: Gainesville | Registered: 16 April 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post

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I agree with JillW, I don't think most of you are thinking about what really goes on in public and private schools these days. Girls being raped in the bathroom, groped while walking down the hall. Girls being aggressive towards boys and trying to act sexy because that's what they see on TV and in magazines. Even if you monitor what you kids watch, the commercials are just as bad as some shows are.

I have a five year old son, who has known since he was able to speak that he has a penis and not a wee-wee. I think it is very important to teach children the proper names for their body parts. If you teach them that an elbow is an elbow and a nose a nose, why not a penis is a penis? Teaching them the correct names for their private parts teaches them that though they are private they are nothing to be ashamed of or made fun of. Also, by telling them their parts are something else like a wee-wee or vajay-jay, you are giving them false information, the root of a lot of childhood misconceptions about relationships, feelings and sex. Then once, they learn the truth, they are going to wonder when you start giving them more information if you are telling them the truth or not.

I work with people that have HIV/AIDS and you would not believe the young people, I'm talking 12-16 years old that have been misinformed about sex and relationships, and now have a fatal disease. And if not HIV some other STD that stays with them for life. There are parents out there that don't teach their children about anything at home, or misinform their children. So is it better to just let them wonder around with incorrect information or to let their school teachers teach them. Also, the article said as the kids get older the information becomes more in depth. They are saying that they are pretty much going to be teaching kindergartners about private parts and good/bad touches. Even if we talk about this with our children at home, isn't it good to have it reiterated at school. Say maybe it didn't quite sink in to a child at home, but they heard it again at school and got it. That could save that child from a bad situation later on.

The more correct information given to kids by people they look up to, the more they will not believe the rumors they hear at school and the better informed they will be when faced with a hard decision to make.
 
Posts: 9 | Registered: 15 September 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
LEW
Picture of LEW
# of kids: Boy 4.5 & Girl 2.

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If anyone is concerned about what is being taught in school, are you able to sit in on these classes? In an ideal world, we would all teach our kids at home everything they need to know. I think we can all agree we are not even close to living in an ideal world. As a parent, I am not only concerned about my own child, but all children that will be interacting with my children and even those my children will not meet until much later in life that may have a profound effect on them due to how they were raised. This is so much bigger than any of us. I doubt there is an answer beyond changing the entire world and making it possible for at least 1 parent to stay home and raise/ teach the kids. Jut my two cents.
 
Posts: 833 | Location: Gainesville, FL | Registered: 22 April 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of klmorg
# of kids: 3 kids, all girls, 17, 15 and 3

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LEW makes an excellent point. If they are going to take this route in schools then the least they can do is notify the parents of the day and time of the class. This way we have the option of our kids not being there. I still don't think it is appropriate for teachers to be taking this role with very young children. Can you imagine the curiosity this will arouse when these kids are spoken to about this as a group! I can just hear the recess talk now!! This matter should be left to be discussed on a one on one situation. What if the kids have questions but are too intimidated to ask?? Then you just leave a door opened with no explanation and understanding for the child. I stand by my first post...
 
Posts: 960 | Location: Chiefland, Florida | Registered: 23 April 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of Casmly

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I know where I went to school, they did exactly what LEW suggested. They would send a permission slip home to each parent. It would explain what was going to be covered and would also assure parents that they could attend with their child or opt to have their child miss this portion of class.

I was first introduced to sex ed in 4th and 5th grade. Boys and girls were separated into 2 groups and sex ed was taught accordingly. Not only did girls get an in depth discussion about their own bodies, they were given the basics of the boys body and what is happening to them as well. Visa versa for the boys.

Knowing the playground talk that went on after these discussions, I know that I would not want my children missing out on the discussions. If I did pull them out, it would be to give them my own discussion. Honestly though, I think that this just lends itself to more confusion. If my child participates in the discussion, I can then reinforce what was said. If they don't, they may think that the playground talk that everyone is dishing out is what they learned in class.
 
Posts: 578 | Registered: 26 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post

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First of all, I haven't seen anyone talking "at" any of you or denigrating your opinions. But just as you want the freedom to express your thoughts, so too should you honor other people's thoughts, even though they are counter to your own. Defensiveness distracts from the discussion and discourages honest discourse.

If you're referring to the comment above about teaching your children to use the correct anatomical words for all their body parts - well, these are adults on this forum, and I have to say I was offended on behalf of children by your use of the term "wee-wee" - only because I think children are certainly capable of learning the correct words, which seem to me to be much more respectful of the beautiful God-given body parts which we all have.

As far as adult behaviors happening in kindergarten - I know a young adult man who says that at age 7(!), he was invited by his 5 year old neighbor girl (kindergartner!) to lie on top of her with their pants down. He didn't know what it was about, but went along with it because he liked the little girl and trusted that she wouldn't hurt him. He'd had no information from his parents - but obviously the little girl had some information from someone - perhaps it was happening to her in her own home??? Anyway, he feels now that if he'd been armed with some age-appropriate information from home or school about respect for our bodies and the bodies of other people, he would not have participated.

My own children can't remember when they DIDN'T know about all their body parts and functions. We used age appropriate information, plenty of opportunities for parental interaction, faith-based teachings regarding respect for God's gifts, and worked with their teachers when sexual content was being presented in their classrooms - I was asked to teach the 8th grade component on HIV when my son was in middle school. He used to bring his friends to our house so they could get the lessons their parents seemed not to be able to impart - I always got permission from the parents before I talked with their kids - and I was always surprised that these parents were so relieved and grateful that I was willing to talk with their kids. Sad but true.

My kids are 34 and 26 now - neither was sexually active in high school (by their own choices, which they're proud of). They're adults now and I don't need to monitor their behaviors - but we've had no babies out of wedlock, no STDs - and like I said, they can't remember when they DIDN'T know about their bodies' functions. So obviously, they weren't warped by receiving age appropriate, accurate information at an early age.

One other thing we emphasized to our children was that each family has their own way of talking about these things - and what our family taught might not be what other families necessarily were talking about. So, the rule was that they could talk all they wanted among our family members - but it was our own family's loving tradition, and not to be shared on the playground, etc. As they got older, I'm sure there were some conversations going on at school - otherwise, how would my son's friends know to want to come over to our house to talk? But in the pre-school, grade school era, we were careful to enforce that this was our family's special circle of sharing - and that I know of, they respected that boundary.

Certainly, each of us has the opportunity to choose how and when we broach this subject with our children. We grow up knowing that our nose is our nose - we trusted our parents when they asked us "where is your nose" and then pointed to the middle of our face. When we said the word "nose", everybody else knew what we were talking about. We knew our parents had taught us right and never questioned them - we trusted them implicitly. We had no reason to doubt that "nose" was anything other than what they had taught us - we'd been taught by the best.

So too can it be with human sexuality - the names of body parts are just as easy to teach as the disrespectful nicknames that all of us seem to want to resort to - possibly out of our own uncomfortableness or embarrassment (from our own upbringings). I remember the shock when I learned that my own mother, who could walk on water, had taught us the totally wrong names for our genitalia - I'd used a word while on a Girls Scout campout, and my leader corrected me - I was mortified, especially after I initially argued that my mother couldn't be wrong, only to learn that sadly, yes she was. I decided then and there I'd never do that to my own children.

Sadly, not all children have a home or church environment where respect for and knowledge about human sexuality is part of their upbringing. We live in a society that glorifies the physical part of sexuality without teaching the other related issues: respect for oneself and for others, responsibility, delayed gratification, sharing, love, honor, commitment, adult consensuality, marriage. Many children come to school with little or no information about their bodies - and they haven't been protected.

I hate that the schools are being asked to divert their precious academic time to address topics which could be best taught by responsible parents at home. But, I can't ignore that many children simply do not have the tools from home.

Now, another whole issue is - are the teachers well prepared to handle these topics??? My own experience is - many times, no. They have the same discomforts, the same fears, the same lack of good information, the same feelings of inadequacy as many of the rest of us. Scary.

There's no easy answer here - "sex" education conjures up images for each of us that don't jive with what we think 5 year olds should know or be doing. Maybe the "sex" education needs to be designed for us parents first - so that we have the tools we need to gently guide our children?
 
Posts: 17 | Registered: 18 May 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of michelle v
# of kids: 2 kids; 3 year old daughter, 1 year old son

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I have opted to remove myself from this discussion. Please honor my choice by leaving me out of future posts here.
 
Posts: 745 | Location: south Sarasota County (Gainesville born) | Registered: 28 April 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of Stacy Fournier
# of kids: 2-year-old daughter

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Wow, I certianly didn't anticipate such heated discussions on this topic. Thank you to everyone for sharing your opinions, thoughts and feelings on this subject.

I think what is boils down to is how unfortunate this whole situation is. It's sad that we even have to think about making sure our children are equipped to handle sexual assault, etc. at such tender ages.

While society has made wonderul advances and changes in the past few years, some things have really gone downhill...fast.

I really don't know that there is a right answer or fix to this whole situation. I like the suggestions made by some moms about having permission slips given to parents. I think permission slips would allow parents to still ultimately make what they feel is the best decision for their child or children.

I want my daughter to clearly understand that private parts are just that, private. I've already started teaching her that we do not show our private parts in public (even though it seems so innocent when she runs out in front of company and say "I'm nakey! Time for my bath!" Smiler)

I do agree that the MSNBC article did somewhat sensationalize the headline by using "sex ed," since when we hear sex ed we think of learning about actual sexual intercourse, which I don't think kindergartners will be learning about. But the fact is, the topics they are starting to learn about are related to their sexuality.

I just hope this system is successful and that the teachers take care in presenting these topics to such little minds.
 
Posts: 1426 | Registered: 01 July 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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GainesvilleMoms.com moderator Stacy Fournier is a Gator and an aspiring journalist. But she does her most important work at home as a wife and mommy to a doll-playing, dress-up-loving daughter born March 2006. Contact her at gainesvillemoms@gainesville.com.   More about us and our editor