Who here has them? And what is your biggest challenge? I have a step child who lives in another city. We have been going back and forth to court for too long. Well she will start being with us again in a few weekends. The hardest part for me, honestly, is not the child. It is the mom, who wants a constant fight. I just don't get that.

Suzy, Suzy, Suzy...what a loaded question...I've been a step-parent for about 15 years, of both boys and girls, young and old. The (horror) stories I could share would fill volumes. And, not only did I have one, but TWO, "real" moms (ex-wives) to deal with! This subject should be it's own blog/website/forum...library. And now, with the step-kids grown, we fight over the grandkids!

I saw one of the ...ladies...at a family baby shower this past weekend...we ignored each other.

I'm fine with the kids, and they are all fine with me. With one of the girls, it took a while to reach a peaceful relationship, it was a rough start with her. But the others all have been fine with me, and me with them, since the beginning. We've all had our rocky times now and again, but as I write this today, all is OK within our family. But like in your case, it was mostly the mom that was the problem, the game-player, the grudge-holder, the manipulator, the trouble-maker. Like you said, I just don't get that...given her particular profession (which I won't mention here) it was especially shocking.

What did help a lot was when my DH and I had our own kids...I think that took the edge of this one particular mom feeling that I was trying to "mother" her kids...not that I ever did try...I wasn't old enough, really, to be their mother..more like an older sister. But I was (still am) and adult family member and they were living in my house and I demanded and deserved respect. Not that I always got it.

Oh, jeez, I really could fill volumes here...nuff said right now. You ever want to share horror stories, just let me know...nothing would shock me. Good luck and God bless...step-parenting is not for the weak, or the weak of heart. To quote something I read about it, "the demands are the same as parenting, but the rewards are mostly long-term and almost invisible."

You know this subject has come up recently in our family as well. I have a 13 year old stepdaughter as well. She lives thousands of miles away. In the beginning I was unsure as to how to approach her mom. How to actually have a relationship b/c I was unsure as to what route to take not to offend anyone or step on any toes. Here recently her mom and I have built a wonderful relationship. We talk all most daily and my step daughter is a fabulous child. So it can be an excellent situation as well.....you just have to find the right way to approach things. I emailed her mom some pictures and notes to say hi and see how things were going. If all was well. And then one day we were both online and we started chatting and I explained to her that she doesnt know who I am and I dont really know her but I have our childrens best interest in mind. We are all family by the children and they need to know their siblings. When we are gone from this world all they will have is each other and they need that strong bond. Of course not all women are this level headed but thank GOD in this situation she was. It didnt happen over night though!!!

I don't know how I missed this post. But I have one step-son. He is 16. We have no problems and gets along well with my kids.
But I guess I have it kinda easy. He is a great kid, but lives in Costa Rica. I have been around him twice. His mom doesn't speak english and for the most part doesn't seem to make much trouble.

Posted by MySpiritWithin:

His mom doesn't speak english and for the most part doesn't seem to make much trouble.

ROFL......yeah, that would tend to keep the trouble to a minimum.....love it!

I dont't even know where to start on this subjuect. I guess it would be to say that I have 2 step children (girl 11 & boy 9). My husband is black and I am white. His ex is black and hates my guts. B and I have been together for 8 yrs in June, (dated 4 & married 4 w/ 1 child together), she still refers to our realtionship as a "sitution". She has told her children that they to not have to listen to anything I say and that they should protect eachother from me. She has also told her kids that, "those crakers are not your family", (refering to my kids) and has tried to make our lives a living hell scince the day she found out that B and I were together. We even had to hide that wedding date and location from the kids so that she would not find out. All I can say is that we (our family, including "her" kids) will not be defeated!!! My step daughter has started standing up for me when her mother bad mouthes me and is the most loving child. My step son is a momma's boy and we have had our issues but nothing that could not be worked thru. Suzy, all I can say is keep your head up and your family values strong and it will get you thru. We should all have a venting session BTW!! LOL!!!