GainesvilleMoms.com

Wow. Who ever would have thought...?

http://health.yahoo.com/news/afp/ushealthdna_080326224747.html

Am I wrong with thinking this is insane?? It says in the article for "women to find how who the father is?"

There are A LOT more issues if you can't figure out who the father of your baby is!!! Trust me - A LOT more issues that need to be dealt with first so you can raise that child in a decent home!

UGH this stuff pisses me off! There are so many people out there WANTING to have children and can't and then you've got people buying paternity tests at the local drug store becuase they don't know who the daddy is!!!!

I have a simple solution. sleep with your husband and your husband ONLY - if you're not married - ABSTINENCE!!!!!

Well said, Hoodmama, AMEN!

A double amen! It's bad enough that we have shows like Maury parading women around who have been on 2 or 3 times to test 10 to 20 guys. And what's really bad is that his show stays on the air because of those "Who is my baby daddy" episodes. Those are the shows pulling in the ratings. Now, all it takes is a simple trip to the drug store. Yesh, pretty crazy. Pretty sad.

While, yes there are some women out there that are as y'all have described, I don't think that is all that is out there.
What about the woman who has only been with one person for a long time and got pregnant, only to find out the guy she though loved and cared about for so long denies the child and leaves her? It would be in her benefit to have this done for court reasons.

What if this was for other reasons other than finding out who a baby's daddy is? What if someone was looking for a long lost parent or child? This would be a good way for them to connect and know for sure.

And in today's world, there are very few people that wait till marriage to have sex. And even some that do, there are still can be affairs. What is a woman was cheating on her husband, ends up pregnant, but raises it as her husband's child? The husband isn't any wiser till years later and then of course a test needs to be done to establish the true father. While it is wrong of the woman, these things do happen.
Or what if the tables are turned? What if a man had sex with a woman either before or after being married and she comes to him to claim the child is his, wouldn't this be a good way to know for sure?

While it may immediately bring up the though of a woman having sex with too many men, it may not always be the case.

You're right myspirit.. however - if people WOULD wait to have sex until they were married - there would be MANY MANY less fatherless children out there. They would still exist - but at a much lower number than now. There would be more stability in our world and - in the cases involving courts - they would never accept these tests into evidence. They would require a formal paternity test in a lab they work with.

I guess I also have to ask - what makes a child yours? As in the case you mentioned about raising a child as his own - I have always wanted to adopt a child - and that child would be raised no differently than any other child - and I certainly wouldn't change anything if i ever found out who the parents were so if I've raised a child as mine - He/she is MINE and no one can take that away.

The reason I brought up the Maury show is because, sadly, those kind of situations have become normal (for lack of a better word.) And I do not stand in judgment of the women and girls who are out there, having sex with so many guys. I think that our society needs to address the much deeper issue, which is why are our girls exhibiting this type of behavior? It's obviously because they have very low self esteem; many times, girls who do not have fathers themselves will seek the affection of men in this way; girls who were never told they were loved; or who were never loved in their home. So, sex is not the issue at all.

It's sad because I see it as a vicious cycle that is repeating itself and this test just reminds me of it. I feel bad for the girls and women out there who are looking for something but in the wrong places. They'll never find it there. I just have to make sure I do my part and teach my children (both sons and daughter) that sex is not just a game...that we respect our women; and that we respect our own bodies; and lives by waiting until the time is right.

quote:

Originally posted by Hoodmama:
however - if people WOULD wait to have sex until they were married - there would be MANY MANY less fatherless children out there.

I guess I also have to ask - what makes a child yours?

In the first part, yes in an ideal perfect world nothing would happen bad and everything would be roses. But from what I have seen and learned of the world, there are some cultures and religions that teach and encourage young people especially girls to wait till marriage, while some of the same groups of people have a double standard for males. And who in the world are these males suppose to have sex with? There has to be some women who are not waiting till marriage.
But there are also some cultures and/or religions that don't view sex in the same way as more conservative groups. It is viewed more of a normal part of life in some of these groups.
There are even these widely varied differences within our own country. I have been married two times. The first time I did wait till I was married, but I also married way to young. (At 18). I had the same views as you described and I also thought that is who I would be with all my life, but things didn't work out as planned. All the things I thought I valued just fell apart. So, yes my views have changed and I feel I am more liberal in my thinking that I once was. I didn't wait till I was married the second time. And you know what? I don't regret either decision.

And addressing your second point, having a child of your own blood doesn't mean that you can't love and raise it as your own. I have a 16 yr old step son whom I love as my own child. But in the case that I mentioned, it isn't about the child, but about the deception not only to the husband, but to the child also. And could you really blame the people for really wanting to know? And while, this may not hold up as true evidence in a court of law, it can still create some truth for the people involved and give them a clearer way in which to proceed with their life.