GainesvilleMoms.com

This questions is similar to that raised earlier about boys in the women's restroom. My daughter, who recently turned 2, loves to get in the shower when Daddy or I jump in. I'm not sure what's so great about having water splash down on your head and in your face as you sit on the cold tub with toys, but nonetheless, she really likes it.

The problem I'm facing as she gets older is how old is too old?

I've been starting to wonder about this with my 3-year-old, so unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. The answer may be different as well because my child is a boy. He's definitely started to notice that he and I look differently, so maybe that's a sign. For now I have just answered (or tried to answer) his questions honestly and age-appropriately. It goes something like this: He's a boy, I'm a girl, and boys and girls have different parts.

My son is 3 and daughter 1, both take showers with me and sometimes my son with his father. We wonder when is too old but currently there are no problems, finger pointing, questions etc. In the past there were a few and it was honestly and shortly answered LOL with no detail. Enough to suffice him for a few years I spose. I am under the assumption that we will 'know' when that time comes and they need their own showers or baths. I doubt any fully aware, paying attention parent, would miss signs etc. that lead one to believe they are too inquisitive etc.

My daughter is three and she only has two sisters so daddy is the only one who is different. She is at the height now that her face position when she is standing in the shower with him makes him very uncomfortable...as she stares and he has no where to move to. She has taken showers with us since she was about 10 months old but just recently we have begun having it be with me more than with him. We explained that daddy is a boy and boys are made differently. It really bothers her too that he stands up to 'tinkle'. She asked me a few months ago if she was going to have to stand when she got older. I simply explained to her "no, because you will always be a girl and girls sit down to tinkle and boys stand up". She smiled at me and said, "and they make bubbles when they tinkle!! Girls don't make bubbles!".

Lol cute. Lovely how kids are so raw.

I think it is important to remember how much kids aren't aware of and are not yet exposed to. If we give them discomforting ideas now, it may effect the way they perceive themselves and others later.

To be honest without much detail and lay the foundation of this is girls, this is boys, and it's no big deal, is important. This way they know, they are informed and we don't shy away from basic truths. They have plenty of time to learn to be shy about their bodies. Right now, being young, we still see their tushes and that is no big deal. I told my son that other than mother, father, and grandparents, no one should see your privates because they are private. It is respectful to keep it to yourself and at home when taking showers/changing. I also told him that is why they make underware LOL. This of course led into a conversation about no one else looking/touching/asking about his body other than family or when family is around (doctors) but keeping it NOT gloomy or awkward.

But I agree, if someone is uncomfy (daddy) then you don't want that to rub off, it is a good idea to take more showers with her and keep her thinking all is well and no big deal... for now

Just my opinion.

Yes I agree with all you said....We too have laid the foundation for this is your body and other than mommy, daddy, doctors, etc... however this doesn't seem to discourage her from streaking from the bathroom naked to run her gauntlet through the house before getting in the bath...and we wouldn't want it to. We do still shower together...all three of us...just not so much him and her only anymore. He wasn't freaking out or anything when he mentioned it to me...about her height and all...just a little blushed on his cheeks and a little concern of, "is it ok that she is like...'right there'?" This is his first daughter as my other two are his step daughters and were 5 and 6 when we were married so this is all still new to him.

i'm divorced from my kids' dad so the issue of my daughter showering with him has never come up. but my son (10) will still jump in the shower if he knows i'm finishing up. there is five years between my children and most of the time, he took a bath with his big sister. never asked any questions other than where is her "part". i just told him girls didn't have one and that was it. they only recently stopped showering together because he said she took too long and he didn't like it when she shaved her legs because all the little hairs got on him...so now if he's needing time with her, he sits on the toilet while she bathes!

we have just never made any issue over our bodies at all. he lives in his tighty whities once we are in for the evening, he (like his mother) hates clothes in general. now he is very private when his sister has friends over, locks the bathroom door and will not change in his room period. oh by the way, he has no bedroom door. that happens when you slam it in anger once too often!

quote:

Originally posted by softballmom:
oh by the way, he has no bedroom door. that happens when you slam it in anger once too often!

(/QUOTE)

You go softballmom...my 15 year old has no bedroom door either...same reason !!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: klmorg,

my kids do not like showers..they take a tub together (4 and 1.5). My 4 yr old has asked some very innocent questions "where is sister's pee pee" etc. I simply reply, as other moms here have said, "you are a boy and sister is a girl, girls do not have pee pees". He has just taken that as fact and quickly moved on.

quote:

Originally posted by softballmom:
we have just never made any issue over our bodies at all. he lives in his tighty whities once we are in for the evening, he (like his mother) hates clothes in general. now he is very private when his sister has friends over, locks the bathroom door and will not change in his room period. oh by the way, he has no bedroom door. that happens when you slam it in anger once too often!

I am def. using that one when they get older!!!! I love the idea. I really really do!

I was raised with no issue around the house...even in my teen years everyone walked out of the bathroom with towels on or even forgot to shut the door (our cats LOVED the shower/water). My mother and I of course always had that comfort level.
Here is my view, nudity within families is fine...for a lot of reasons, and it has made me more secure...seriously. Also, the only reason cavemen wore things like clothes was defense against the elements...or so I assume. It is natural, it is us, it is our bodies. In todays world, in moderation, we should all be comfy in our skin...specially around our families. But I think we all know what discretion this calls for LOL

i have actually talked with my pediatrician with this and she said as long as the curiousity has not become an issue than it is fine. I do now have to monitor my daughter and my son when they take showers together because they are very curious about the differences in their bodies. My suggestions is just to keep a watchful eye, be honest to your children. Make sure they know that their bodies are their bodies but do not make it seem like a big issue where they are always comfortable about coming to you. A lot of people shun against this but in our household we call our private parts what they are medically called, a vagina and penis. My children although young know that girls have vaginas and boys have penises. This has seem to cut down the curiosity because they now know that they are different and it is okay!

I never saw anyone naked that I can remember--brother, dad or mom and I am quite uncomfortable with nudity. My hubby has a large family and they are quite unashamed and comfortable. I wish there had been a better comfort level in our home and we never even had any conversations about bodies/sex! I'm def gonna raise my kids differently and I am glad to hear all of you having very open, honest conversations with your kids so they don't grow up ashamed, experimenting with others, or self-conscious about very natural things.

We lived in the caribbean when our first daughter was between the ages of 1 and 4. We used to go to the beach all the time and come back full of sand. The three of us would shower together in this huge shower we had. She had the best time and it was quick and easy. One day when she was almost 4 she noticed daddy had something extra she did not have. She made a very innocent comment. We knew then it was time to stop she showers together and we did. I am sure it is different for everyone. My suggestion would be to play it by ear. You will know when it's time to stop.
P.S. We have also explained to her the difference between boys and girls and we have named the parts of the body. She also knows that those parts are private.
Best of luck !

My kids are grown now, but my daughter and son used to take baths together. When they reached an age where it didn't seem appropriate to be naked together, we would let them take baths in their swimsuits! Obviously it's not the best way to get clean, but they would have a lot of fun playing together in the tub.

My 3 year old has taken showers with me in the past, and its never been a problem. Until one time a few months ago, when we were getting clean she slipped and started to fall. So she blindly reached out to stead herself and grabbed ahold (very tightly, might I add) of a... shall we say... a non weight-bearing body part. Daddy walked funny for a day or two after that.

So we don't shower together any more, because I am afraid to! lol

But it was about time to stop doing that anyway, so it all worked out like it was supposed to