Suzy,
As a mother of 4 children, I would love some advice. I have a 21 month old son and I am expecting my 2nd in May. How on earth do you transition from 1 to 2? How do you balance having two children that are both still very dependent on you? Help! I have no idea how I am going to do it.

Kaya

Honestly,
I don't think it is something you can really plan for because so much of it has to do with so many different factors, like your children's personalities.

My first two children were three years apart and my son was very laid back. He seemed to really enjoy the new baby. But I am concerned that my son, now 19 months, will be jealous when this baby is born in two months. He has really embraced the "baby" role.

I have all kinds of things running through my mind: how do we get number 3 of off his bottle and pacifier with a new baby in the house?

I can tell you this, though, one child to two has been my easiest transition yet. Two to three was the most difficult.

It looks like we will be transitioning around the same time. My biggest advice is to take it day by day; that's really all you can do. Any advice from another moms?

Oh, one last thing...one thing that really helped was that I always really included the kids and made them feel like they had a special role with the baby. We did big brother, big sister t-shirts, took them on the hospital tour. And when baby was born, the kids received small gifts at the hospital as well. They also made little gifts for the baby.

I think giving them that extra attention during the arrival of the new baby really, really helped a lot...

my grandmother told me that two was really four times one. that scared me so badly. my daughter was 5 when my son was born. she was already involved in church activities, school and had friends of her own. i had no idea how i was going to merge these two lives. but you know what? it just happened. regardless of the normal sibling stuff, the arguing and fussing, my children truly love each other.

my daugher was more attentive to my infant son than i was. she had bottles heated before i could get to the kitchen and changed diapers in between when i would.

love them and they will love each other.

My daughter is the same way. She is like a little mommy in many ways. Although, my 9-year-old son would rather just rough house with the baby, who is almost 2. I actually thought having two was easier for me that just one, because they entertained each other. Having more than one is great!

Thanks for the advice. I'm starting to feel better about the transition. Here's a question: My husband works evenings, so I'm alone putting my son to bed. What to do with my daughter while I'm putting him to sleep? Do I put her in the bouncy seat in the room with us? This is something that I have been obsessing about lately! Don't you love being pregnant? Ha Ha

Yes, kaya, it's really easy to obsess about everything when you are pregnant and juggling two children easily makes the list of things to obsess about.

When I had my first, I didn't know how I would ever get a shower. I quickly learned that he rather enjoyed my shower time with me...I would place him in his carrier and bring him into the bathroom with me. That way I could keep an eye (and an ear) out for him and he seemed to enjoy the sound of the water. He would often fall asleep.

You will find out that what works for you may not work for the next mom because what works for you has a lot to do with your child and how they respond to certain things. So my advice is to play it by ear.

Don't worry, you'll figure out what works perfectly for you and your children. And you'll probably figure that out very quickly. I know it's not a concrete answer, but I hope it helps.