And do you and your mate agree on the discipline? My husband and I had to reach an agreement on this. We clearly had different ideas, which came from being raised differently I think.

We mainly use time-outs with our oldest and lucky with our little guy a stern NO still works. It's been hard with our daughter because she has some emotional issues, so it's been hard to find things that really work. It's ironic because she is actually very rational (unless she is in the midst of one of her 'fits') and I can sit and talk with her. I must say that I am very proud of her these last few days...she has been working extra hard on controlling her emotions

With my daughter (7), threatening to take away her gameboy or computer time usually works. She doesn't normally get into trouble, she just back talks. I HATE it. Once we finally move and get settled in, I plan on implementing a sliding allowance system where she'll start with a certain amount each week and will get some taken away each time she talks back. I imagine with her that will work better than what we do now.

As for my son, if I've told him no multiple times and he isn't listening, I will spank his butt. Normally I don't hit real hard. He hates the fact that he's getting in trouble so usually just a little tap works well.

My husband and I also came to the table with different views... but after a very long discussion we came up with ways/ideas that we thought we could both be proud of and enforce.

At the time our oldest was only a few months old, so we were good and ready.

For us, being physical was a big no no. We agreed that we were both short tempered and needed to first work on our own time-outs so that we could teach our children to take a breather.

So far so good. Of course each of our kids need their own variation of discipline and what needs to be taken away, how long in time out, what kind of talk etc.... but our only bottom line was to never be physical and to remain calm to teach them to be calm.

So far timeouts have worked; once that stops we'll try early bedtimes or taking away toys/TV. I'm not against spanking per se, but I just can't do it. My husband's pretty firm with the boys, and so far we've agreed on the way we discipline them. We'll see as they get into those teenage years though!

Well, we, too, don't like physical discipline...it just hit home with me when I saw a family member discipline her small son for hitting another child, by hitting him and saying, "hitting is bad, hitting is wrong, NO HITTING!" Hello?

We use time-out and by trying to reinforce to them that bad decisions create bad consequences...life is full of choices and some are good choices, some are bad choices, and all have their own repercussions. So the naughty chair is it for right now, or, when one is really having a fit, he goes to his room and is not allowed out until he's calmed down and can talk about it. The only time we pop them, on the butt and through the diaper, is when one of them is about to go into a danger zone, like grabbing for the stove or something sharp, and we need to get their attention QUICK. Overall, though, time-out and when they're older, removal of toys and privileges, etc. is what's gonna be happening in our house.

I'm totally in a sticky situation with discipline since none of the kids I have to discipline are my own. I have a few different level of things that I do. Time outs - generally just sitting in a chair for a while (I know you're supposed to do one minute for every year they are old) so I can calm down and they can calm down and then we talk it through. If it goes beyond that - then we start taking things away, computer time, PS2 time, candy, etc. If all else fails - they just can't come over for a weekend or even worse - a few months. I have a couple girls (12 and 13) who are on the few months road right now. We've talked and talked and talked. I answer questions, I explain to them in many different ways. They make good choices when I'm there but as soon as they are around other people and I'm not there - bam - everything we talk about is gone. I told them that I can't have them around the younger girls if those are the choices they are going to make. We've talked and talked about it and they tell me they understand however - they continue to make the bad choices so i have to get heavy on them. It's killing them they can't come over - but that's where you gotta hit them sometimes - right where it hurts. If they were my own child - a good spanking never hurt me or my brothers. I have no problem with that when the sitation warrants it but it certainly isn't the first line of punishment by anymeans.

Well...I being I am raising my kids by myself right now, I don't have to ask or agree with anyone on the best way to discipline my kids.
That's the good part. The bad part is that it is exhausting to do it all by myself. There is no one to help you decide what is best for your children and you can second guess yourself sometimes.

I already responded how I discipline my kids in the other similar thread. So I don't want to be repetitive here.

I found this article on CNN and thought it was really interesting and it's all about discipline.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/08/o.moms.cant.say.no/index.html

Interesting that this topic is at top as lately I have been revising my traditional discipline ways for more gentle ways. I just finished reading Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting. There were a lot of good ideas in there, but not everything is going to work for me all the time, either.

It is not easy to change. I tend to be a yeller and a threatener and I don't like it. I figure I did something right with the olders as they have reached adulthood and still say I love you Mom, but I know even now I have work to do.

Luckily my husband and I agree on most everything child rearing. Our only difficulty is our autistic son. It is nearly impossible to discipline him. Basically he gets told no which he is only starting to understand.

The next book I want to read on this is called Kids Are Worth It. Waiting for it..it's on hold at the library