Ok, so my 3 yo has a heck of a mean streak. She's lucky she's cute because I might have asked for a refund So anyway, she likes to hit her sister who in turn says OWWWWWW! Mommy Emma hit me! At first, I decided there was no accidental hitting and everyone got to sit on the naughty stool (thank you super nanny). But if I don't see it happen, can I really punish?? I'm really tempted to tell my older daughter, who is the victim, to hit her back. But with advice like that, I'm not winning any mother of the year awards....

Any suggestions?

you don't necessarily have to tell her to "hit" her back. you can tell her that sisters have to "work things out" between themselves sometimes. this will give her the opportunity to handle it herself. she may choose to hit her back but she might also choose to talk to her. i know they are little now but you might be surprised by how she handles it.

Wow that is a tough situation. As hard as it is, I'd be cautious of telling her to hit back. My fear would be if your child is in or will be in school soon, she might think it's OK to hit her classmates back, and then she'll get in trouble.

When my 2-year-old daughter went through a hitting stage, I tried telling her to be gentle and showed her how happy it made me when she was gentle to mommy. Maybe try telling your little one how sad it makes you when she treats her sister that way. Maybe she'd respond better if she knew how sad she was making everyone or if she knew no one would play with her if she was hitting. I know this is all a lot easier said than done though...

I would be willing to bet your oldest is antaganizing the 'you-know-what' out of the youngest which in turn provokes the hitting from your youngest who is getting frustrated. I have two girls that when they were younger...and even now come to think of it....have this type of relationship. My older one quietly antagonizes the younger. Like softballmom said try seeing if they can work it out. Try and catch the verbal interaction between them to see if the older is pushing the youngers buttons. If so you may need to talk to them both about the conflicts. It is very difficult to punish if you didn't see or hear the'crime'.

Good Luck

Yes. Sometimes Hannah starts it. And if I witness it, I say well you shouldn't have had your hands on her, took her toy whatever. Then explain to Emma that she should use her words not her hands. But let me tell you, this kid will out of nowhere just pop her sister, or push her down. I have started telling Hannah to work it out and tell Emma how she feels when she gets hit etc, we'll see what happens.