GainesvilleMoms.com

My friend has been out of my life for about a year but we used to be close. She just popped back into town and announced she is getting married...in a week! She is not expecting she says...just wants to get married fast. I am very worried about this but don't know how to tell her/if I should...

This is a tough one, hence the reason I hadn't replied until now. Since she used to be a good friend of yours, I suppose you could breech the subject with her. However, I would be very careful considering you really haven't been that close recently. If you feel that you can bring things up without rocking the boat too much then do so. Just let her know that you really hope she's doing this for the right reasons and you only hope that she is really happy. Then, I would drop it unless she expresses doubts.

You never know, what may seem like a rash decision from where you're standing may be perfectly reasonable from her stand point. I knew almost immediately after meeting my husband for the first time that we would be together forever...and I was only 16.

Well, what do you want to tell her? Is she asking for your help with the wedding, or does she want you to be in it? Do you think she shouldn't get married? That's a tricky thing to tell a friend, especially one you haven't talked to in a while.

If adults want advice or opinion, they usually ask.

I've learned to shut my mouth with family and friends UNLESS they ask for my opinion (and then I warn them that it will be an HONEST opinion).

With such a high divorce rate and the desire for instant gratification, it seems really DUMB to get married without a long dating period.

With that said, my husband (of almost 19 yrs) told me he loved me on Day 7 after meeting and we were engaged during month 4. We just KNEW we were perfect for eachother and things couldn't be better. Let's hope your friend is in similar situation.

I agree w/ FLNonny on this one. She is not asking for advice and from her vantage point is probably convinced they are totally in love-and very well may be. At this point, I would not say a word-unless asked and then I would proceed w/ extreme caution and be prepared to lose the friendship if she does not agree w/ your advice-most likely she will not if she is already headed down the aisle. My parents got married after dating for 6 weeks....fast forward 43 years and they are still happy....yes, this is not the norm..but it does happen!

I'm looking at it that if she hasn't been that close to you - what do you have to leave if you speak your mind?? I was in a similiar situation but with a very good friend and I just said "You're a big girl and can decide for yourself." when she asked my opinion (she was in her 40's already and 2nd marriage). She continued to push until I gave her my opinion but I was very careful becuase I cared about her a lot. If you're not that tight with her - speak your mind if you feel there are issues there. Live life without regret. That doesn't mean you need to be a bitch about it but you can still make your opinion known nicely.