GainesvilleMoms.com

I was awaken by a phone call at 9am this morning. Unexpectally, it was a private investigator looking for more answers to a death of a college gal last November. To my serprise, I thought this was over, but I could see that the father was still grieving and as an attorney, he was still looking for answers to his daughter's senseless death.

As a parent I could understand this, but also knew this was part of his grieving. But to be reminded of this terrible incident didn't help. By the time I was done with the phone conversation I was feeling sick all over again. It was nothing new. I still see the incident run through my head everyday. As my therapist would say,it's PTSD. I was traumatized by the incident.

It was last November 5. I was driving my son to UF for his early morning english class. We were on 34th street, in the middle lane when suddenly this young jogger was there. As fast as I was going (to get into the right lane), I don't know how I was able to stop...suddenly. I had to, or I would had hit the female jogger. I just don't know how I was able to stop. It was like mine or her angels were there. She stopped for a moment and looked at me. I was beeping my horn at her and pointed to the light, it was green and she had stepped out into the road, with her iPod on, not paying attention.

Only seconds later, she continued to jog and as she continued to jog, she jogged into another vehichile. Her body thrown like a rag doll 30-40 feet across Radio road and landed on 34th Ave in the middle lane, my lane.

All I can remember is putting my van in park, swearing angrilly. I ran to her and felt for her pulse. She was still breathing...barely. Her lips were blue and she was making some noise. I handed my cell phone to a gal who called 911. the man who was in the truck behind me was standing there, also on the phone with 911.

It seem we waited forever for a police officier or even a fire truck muchless an ambulance. I was kneeling next to her, trying to hold myself up with one hand and talking to her ...when I noticed my hand was covered with blood. I jumped up and ran to my van for a sheet. I ran back in pain with my knees and back hurting but fell to my knees again hoping the sheet will hold the blood in...I knew it was coming from the head, but I also knew I could not move her.

While others were continuing to help her I stood up and was directing traffic...stopping them to move her two shoes that were thrown off with her iPod closer to her, preventing other cars from running them over. And then I went back to sit next to her, talking to her to hang on..."please hang on, help is coming." Not knowing, she could not hear me since she was already gone.

It took forever for them to help her and when they did, they took their time but it seem they just plotted her on the board. I knew for sure by this time she was probably dead.

It was the worse day of my life, I knew it was for the man who accidentally hit her. he had no clue why I stopped at a green light. It was not his fault. He just didn't see her. how could he? he was driving in the inner lane, behind me. My van and the large SUV behind me blocked his view.

Unfotunately, she died the next morning from her head injuries. But she was an organ donor, and they had kept her alive due to that.

I met Catherine's father and her grandparents at her Memorial service a week later. They were such sweet folks and so appreciative. I knew he was fishing for answers when he kept asking me different questions. He was a father in grief. An attorney needing answers.

It seems like it was an endless thing, being asked a number of times by police, by insurance investigators, by private investigators. The answers still comes back that she stepped out without looking at the light. She was distracted by her Ipod. And most likely, she might had thought she was still on campus, thinking she had the right away.

The lights at Radio and 34th has been a question...the timing of the lights. I know, I questioned it too many times that day, as I had questioined other things as well.

I'm sad everyday for that loss, I still see it in my head. And I try not to think about it, but it doesn't help when the phone still rings and the questions are still being asked, seven (7) months later.

Part of me is that the dad is not satisfied with the answers the other investigators came up with, hence the private investigators. He is hoping to find someone else to blame, not his daughter. But unfortunately, it does come back to Catherine, not paying attention to the lights and distracted by her iPod. Most likely, an honest mistake on her part.

But as i said to the investigators over n' over, I blame the colleges and universities. Telling them they have the right away even if a big heavy car/truck is approaching them...they have to stop and you can keep walking. Problem is, they don't look up or around, they just walk about and don't care that cars are approaching them at 20mph. None of them stop. They just keep walking. I see them do this on 13th street and Archer road. Carelessly walking and running out infront of moving (heavy) cars.

I remember about 45 mins after Catherin's accident, after I had dropped off my son at his Music class, I knew I had to go see CJ. My mind would not stop running and i knew most likely she had died. I was waiting at a light at 13th street and Inner road. Some of the gals were playing who can run across 13th street while they had the stop hand signal and 13th had the green light. It was like a game to them, racing to the other side. I remember feeling so angry at them and yelling at them to please don't do this, I had just witnessed a gal die for this kind of "game". They looked at me in shock and stood there and waited till their hand light switched to yellow. I dropped my head into my hands and wept. How careless are these kids? Are they that clueless to life and how fast it can be taken from them.

I now hate going to UF. Everytime I'm there, my anxiety flares up. I just can't tolerate that behavior.

I hope Catherine's father does find his answer ...but I don't think he will. I think he will have to accept that Catherine made an honest mistake for not paying attention to her where abouts.

...its a lesson for us all to learn....& remember.

Wow Dee...I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this! I remember reading about this accident. And honestly, thinking the same thing that you are saying...whenever I am out I see at least 2 or 3 people trying to run across the street while I have a green light! I'm thinking, what is important to get to that you would risk your life like that...I hope your therapy sessions help and I too, hope this dad finds some answers...but you are right..he is looking for someone other than his daughter to blame and that won't happen....

Oh, what a tragic story....tragic and senseless...indeed a reminder to always have a heads up...I cannot imagine her father's pain.

Dee,
How sad. How is your son? Did he witness it the way you did?

There are so many life lessons here. Thanks for sharing with us, even through your pain. I hope it helps.

My son was 18 at the time, and at the time he did witnessed it, however due to his disability, he could not see everything (due to how he was sitting on the front seat). He was not questioned by the police or the investigators and I'm not sure why.

What a horrible thing for everyone to have to go through! I hope one day it doesn't haunt you anymore.

I feel for you and her Father
I myself lost my youngest daughter in an accident last Dec 9th, she was 26 years old.
I still ask questions about the accident and I will till I get the closer I need.
So I know how he feels.
The loss of a child even if that child is an adult is so profound it cannot be explained.
This has traumatized her Father as well as my Daughters death has traumatized us.
He is not the same person he was before his Daughters death and neither are we for my Daughters death.
This consumes him as our Daughters death consumes me and her sister.
I cannot offer any thing but my deepest sympathies.
I have read the book 90 minutes in Heaven and that book helped me tremendously.

I myself have not come to grips with her death and I’m sure I won’t for years I wish there were a answer for all of us that has lost a child.

Unfortunately you will re-live that day for the rest of your life the same as her Father will and as I for my Daughter.

I commend you for staying with her she was not alone at the end of her life.

I know for a fact, that act alone has helped her father.

My daughter and her friend were alone on a dark road when they both died and that hurts us knowing they didn’t have someone to hold them and be with them when they died.
My heart hurts for you and her Father.

I pray for you and her family

God Bless you and her Father

I am so sorry that you had to go through this! As a firefighter who unfortunately sees this kind of thing on a daily basis, sometimes I become numb when it comes to the emotions involved with everything. I have to be this way, or there is no way I could possibly do my job. I wasnt on that particular call, but she was so lucky to have someone like you who was able to stop and be with her in that terrible time. Thank you for sharing your story.

I also have been annoyed by the college students who walk into the street assuming they have the right of way even when they clearly don't. And I cant even tell you how many injuries I have seen because of this....

Brandys mom: first let me give you a safe big hug...
<<<<<<<<<<<< brandysmom>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm very sorry that your family had to also endure this horrible and sad situation with your own daughter. I honestly can not imagine that pain that you and your family had to endure. I'm sorry that they had no one there to comfort them and give them some type of hope.

I thank you for your understanding and comforting words. I do understand the need to find the answers though to why, as I understand why Cathrines father has the need to find his answers. I know it is part of the grieving process. I'm sure it will be a long time before he will let go. From what I learned, Catherine was their daughter for six years before they had another child. So i can imagine she was a "daddy's girl". I can tell by the way he lovingly talks about her. He even knew what looks she was giving me when I mentioned the look she gave me before jogging further. He smiled and said "Yeah, there is that look she always gives..."

I also beleive I understand how you as her mother, and your family wants to find answers for your daughters accident. I do understand this...cuz even after 34 yrs, i still look for the answers to my mother's murder. And all the secrets the family keeps to reveal the truth. Its like they still think we are kids and won't understand. Maybe we won't.

and your right, its like that one moment from that one loss things do change. its not any better. He is a very kind man and I'm sure his wife is going through far more than he is. I never had the chance to meet the mother or the sister. But I do keep them in my prayers.

thank u for sharing your experience and understanding. I hope in some way, some how, this brings some type of comfort to you.

safe hugz!

Jaime...see i could not do a job like that. I don't know how you do it. I understand the numbing behavior...its a protection tool for u. However, for me, it protects me at first but then bang, it hits me.

I wish we can do more of an awareness so that there are less injuries and/or less deaths. The question is...will the listen? Kids will be kids. and even if the are "young adults" they still lack the understanding that death is so final. No coming back to correct that mistake.

thanks for sharing!

Believe it or not the job gets easier with time. Those kinds of things are easier for me to deal with then long term illnesses.... tht is difficult for me.

I wish there was some way to do more awareness. For the FD we do a lot of community education, but people are who they are and they don't listen, especially kids in college who believe they are invincible. Unfortunately people don't take enough resposibility when it comes to safety. Most parents are so overwhelmed with selecting the perfect car seat for their baby so they are safe... and yet would you believe how many vehicle accidents I see with babies in the car and no car seats? It is so sad....

DO you mind if I ask you if you work for the city or county? I know someone who is interested in becoming a firefighter, but I heard someone was having a hiring freeze. Do you know anything about that?

What a tragic accident. I remember Catherine was training for the Five Points marathon when she was killed, and more than 50 of her friends, relatives and classmates signed up and ran in the weekend's races in her memory. I was there for the 5K and saw so many people with blue T-shirts with her face on them. She obviously left a real impression on so many people.

So sad. I used to take my husband to school last semester and so many times had to slam on brakes do to students just stepping out into the crosswalk absentmindedly with a cockiness I have never seen before in the middle of the street. Especially with so many other students driving around with the same level of confidence and distractions!

I also had a similar experience a few years ago where a man on a moped swerved out in front of the car in front of me at we did 60mph down hwy 51. His body flew like a rag doll and landed in front of my car. The ppl that hit him were teenagers and not at fault but very much in shock. Being in-between Live Oak and Mayo I was alone in my attempts to give CPR and wrap towels around his bleading, bent legs in the middle of the street. It took a LONG time for an ambulance to arrive out there and even though I prayed and prayed I knew the moment he breathed his last and his eyes fluttered open. It broke my heart and shook me to the core. To this day I give joggers and bicyclists, even in their lane, a wide birth because all they have to do is hit a rock or have a cramp and swerve or fall and they are in traffic. It's very scary. I'm so sorry for all who have lost. Suzy wrote a memorial blog one time that helped me greatly with a loss and I encourage everyone to write down a "memory note" for their lost loves.

The reason I actually became a firefighter was because one day at the beach someone pulled a man out of the water who was in cardiac arrest. Noone knew how to perform CPR, and I had been a lifeguard for abotu 5 years, so I tried to revive him, with no success unfortunately. Eventually the paramedics got there and took over, but in that moment I knew that was what I was meant to do with my life. I was in college t the time, and the next day I looked into moving to the Outer Banks to become a professional lifeguard, which led me to fire school, EMT and paramedic.

I think of that awful day, and the only thing that makes the memory a little easier is the thought that his death steered me into this career, where maybe I have been able to save a life or two that may have otherwise been lost.

A little deep, but wanted to share. Maybe Catherine'e death allowed for something positive to happen, though it is hard to think wht good can come from a young life cut short.