GainesvilleMoms.com

Behavior

I just read the story in the Sun today about a group of Teens and Pre-Teen's.....numbering in the 100's going to the local wal`marts and causing trouble.
My question has to do with this and some other in general behavior issues.

What has become of parental guidance and instruction as far as the behavior of our children today?
I have 4 grand-children from 4 to 9 and I went the other day to pick the oldest up from school ( Newberry elem) As we walked out of the school my grand-daughter spoke to 4 kids and said hello or see you tomorrow to all of them and NOT one of them said hello or made any response to her at all.
As I mentioned this to my grand-daughter she made up excuses for them......
My grand-daughter is very out going and will speak to people and carry on a conversation with anyone and I think that is wonderful.)

I myself find this not speaking or acknowledging some-one's hello unacceptable behavior in kids and I feel it comes form their parents.

I was raised by the best parents in the world and If I would have ignored a persons jester I would have been reprimanded by my parents and told that that's rude behavior and to always speak to someone when they say hello.

I think today parents need to get real with their kids and teach them some respect!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know days of good behavior in children is almost gone....today it's like all kids want is what can you do for me not what can I do to help you or be a good friend or person.

Is it just me or is there anyone else out their that agree things need to change?

Also can anyone shed some light on your kids and why you don't take the time to teach good behavior?
I ask this because one of the kids she spoke to was with her mother and her mother didn't say a word to her about being rude!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Suzy Richardson,

You know Sandy...I read or heard the news about the 100 kids running into Walmart last week and then this morning that they did it again.

With this type of behavior, we have future (or current) criminals. If they don't learn to control themselves now, and if their parents don't do something now, they will become more trouble makers (if not already). They need to learn new and better behaviors.

Maybe they should get busy with the volunteer work, like with the humane society. Or with camp. Or help clean the neighbors by picking up loose trash. Somehow, we need to bring interest to these kids to distract them from using poor judgments and bad decisions.

Unfortunately Sandy, we now live in a society that people either forget their manners or lack the learning of it. Our children learn our behaviors by our actions. What they see and hear, they will pick up and do. Maybe we as parents need to go back to manners school???

I have to agree with you with alot or all that you said. So what can we do about it?

I was thinking the same thing....where are their parents?? How is it that teenagers can be out that late running amok and none of their parents do anything. The thing is...I was never spanked as a child but I did have a very healthy fear of punishment! These kids don't....they do what they want, when they want with no repercussions. I knew better and that is a parents job..to make sure your child/children know better than to act the way these kids are. Kids today are totally spoiled. They see no value in hard work..they think that they just deserve everything without having to do anything for it....things need to change and the change has to start at home.

I too as well was not spanked as a child but did respect my elders!
You are so right in saying that today's kids fear nothing...........they do something wrong they get "Time Out"
What good is that?
So far it's not working.
I do not believe in hitting a child but if a parent will start at a early age and teach the child that their bad behavior will not be tolerated, period.
I had a healthy fear of being punished and I must say I was a very good kid.
I felt if i did something wrong my Dad and Mom would be disappointed in me and that was worse than any spanking I could have gotten.
They took pride in me and my sister and we in turn showed them we respected them and did what we were told the first time.

I know I will get flack for this remark but I am going to say it anyway.
I am a retired dog trainer and have trained dogs for 24 years.
You teach dogs by repetition and always follow through......never let them get away with-out doing what you want them to.
This is how I raised my kids If I told them to do something (when they were small) I made sure they did it. I did not let it go per say and just go oh well it's okay.
Today parents need to get a grip on their kids and teach them right from wrong.

I have 2 wonderful Daughters and 4 wonderful grand-children and they are very well behaved.

Thanks to My Parents.......for teaching me right

I would say, yes, there are some parents that are not teaching their kids right. But there are alot parents that are.
I don't think that it has gotten better or worse in today's kids, only that we have better communication through tv, internet, radio, etc to get this information so we hear and see more stories.
I have come to believe that every generation of adults will look at the "kids today" and either see generally good, bad or in between. It is due to the fact, I think, of maturity and seeing things in a different light than when you are younger.
The fact is that you don't know the exact reasons of these children's life. You don't know what has happened to them or why they are doing these things. I came from parents that taught me morals and values, but as a teenager, I went through a period of doing things I shouldn't have done, even some of it illegal. Why? Because I was mad at them for moving me all the way across the country from all my friends in high school. It was a stupid reason when I think about it now, but when I was 15, it was very real.
My dh would not let anybody tell him what to do when he was younger. He didn't care who you were, he would tell you off. But age and maturity calmed him down and now he is the most wonderful man I have ever meet.
While yes, what some kids are doing is wrong, disrespectful,etc; And I have been one to say that kids need punishment, but they also need guidance and acceptance. And not all parents know how to do this and there are some that don't care. Some of these kids probably don't even have real parents to take care of them. Maybe some of them do.
The best thing to do is pray, if you are the praying type or hope they get the help that they need.

I think we all find what we look for. If we look for the good in today's kids, we will find it and vice versa.

I will say I am not just speaking about the kids going around breaking the law, I am talking about the behavior of kids in general.
Like not saying hello when a friend says Hi.
I bet most of us say Hello when we pass someone on the street and they say it.....I do anyway
I think parents are to busy today to care much about what their kids do...................
as long as they are there when they get home from work things are good.
Yes I may have had the so called "Perfect" childhood a nice home, a mom that was home with us all the time a summer vacation every year and was not alowed to run wild in the streets I am thankful for my parents.
I understand their are kids that have it tough these days but I am talking about kids that just have no manners, regular manners!

I do look for the good in people and so will my grand-daughter when she makes excuses for them when they are rude.......................and she even calls them her friends.
I don't call people my friends that do not speak to me when I speak to them

I am from the old school and was raised by parents that were older in their 50"s when we came along(adoption) and I raised my kids the same way.

I know kids have broken homes and live in less than perfect households with whatever their parents do or don't do.
Should we just feel sorry for them and say it's okay you don't need manners you have a hard life?
I don't think so.

Sandy - my children attend Newberry schools and i believe we are just too busy today. too busy to stop and answer each other. do i think that those children were being deliberatly rude to your granddaughter, no. i think they were just in a hurry and in today's society that has become acceptable. you will not find a better group of kids than we have in Newberry.

now, that being said, we are fortunate to live in a small caring community. what took place in gainesville at the walmarts would not have happened twice in newberry. we all look out for each other's children. we still tattle on kids, whether it is politically correct or not.

but all too often, even in our small town, things happen in the middle of the night that parents are unaware of, even the best parents. We lost two vibrant young men to a car accident in the middle of the night. you all know at first i was so angry that these boys were on the road at 3am but things happen. it was the first time one boy had ever not checked in. and this time it cost him his life.

i agree that in this techno age, everything happens faster and appears sharper than ever before. as parents we have to in turn be on our toes more than ever before.

but i still believe in our youth. i still believe that they hold the key to a better tomorrow. we just have to guide them and provide them with the tools and opportunities to succeed.

I know people want to defend children but I will say these children were not in any hurry.
they were standing around waiting.
They were and are rude.
And their parents should wake up and get some respect in the home.

Yes this is a sore spot for me.
I do not allow my kids to be rude. and will not tolerate it in others
To me It's no wonder mom's home school more these days than ever, I am contemplating it for next year

a lot of kids today are not very nice to other kids.........I grew up in a small West Virginia town and the kids their were a lot nicer, but back then most kids had respect for others, today kids and people in general don't!

I was at the mall the other day and there were 3 girls in their 20's walking just ahead of me.
The one girl went to walk out in front of a car and the other girl grabbed her arm and she jerked it away and said I'm not gonna wait for that ~^#@) he can F````stop for me.
I could not believe she said and acted like that
( and the girls with her were surprised by her comment as well )
I made the comment that she is a 100 pounds and the car is around 4000 pounds I think I would wait and of course I was called every name in the book for saying anything.
((which maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut))

The words that came out of her mouth were so nasty I can't even begin to put them on here.
That to me shows bad parenting plan and simple.
So I feel parents need to start when they are younger.

Not all kids are like this some are very nice and very respectful but they are few and far between.
This happens in all areas I am not just talking about Newberry.
I will say that the school ( a gvill school) she went to before she came there was not as bad!
Don't believe me take your kids and go to a park and just watch the kids you'll see for yourself how rude they can be.

quote:

I know people want to defend children but I will say these children were not in any hurry.
they were standing around waiting.
They were and are rude.
And their parents should wake up and get some respect in the home.

unfortunately it is your opinion these children were being rude, it many not have been their intentions. all too often we assume others are being rude when in fact they may be having a bad day or may simply be tired or just not as friendly as we would like.

i'm not trying to just make excuses but not every child is as outgoing as your granddaughter. my daughter would have stopped, hugged, cried, all of the things girls do when they part, but my son would have stared at his feet. my neice at 8 years old would have hid behind her mother's legs.

i guess i really try to see the best in children as i believe they all get here with big fat hearts that just need to be loved. unfortunately, they don't all get the love and direction they need.

I guess it's the parents fault....
the kids don't know it's wrong if the parents do not teach the proper way to act.

I am not saying all kids are rude but some these days are.
and yes that is my opinion.
This is not just a bad day or having something else on their minds this is just bad behavior and it starts at home.

Everything starts at home.
You are what you are taught!

I am a grand-parent and have had kids in several schools for the last 20 years and this is not just here it is everywhere.
I am not picking on "Newberry" it just happens to be where this happened

I am not a person who looks for the worst in people.
I look for the good in others and try to think of things to do for my friends that make them happy I try to be a good person and had just got so sick and tired of kids being rude these days and not having respect for others.

i didn't take it that you were picking on newberry at all...

i guess since i interact with these kids everyday and make it a point to speak to them and engage them, i have not experienced what you have. my son is a car rider so i drop him off and pick him up everyday. all i see are smiling faces and kids telling me to have a nice day when they close my door.

i'm sorry you and your granddaughter felt our students were being rude.

My Child is a car rider as well and I had to walk up one day and get her because I didn't have the time to sit in the line to get her that's when the kids didn't seam to have the manners they should have.

There are alot of good kids out there...good kids! Respectful and good students. Wonderful parents. And each kid has wonderful qualities in them.

But there are alot of kids out there that is darn right rude and disrespectful. Not all kids are like that. But you do find these type of kids in different towns and cities no matter how little or big the area is.

It doesnt meant they don't have good qualities in them, they may (and they may not). It does matter how they are raised. Kids learn behaviors from their parents.

I can assure you, there are "bad" kids out there. I know quite a few of them. I have seen how their parents behave ...and watch how the kids behave, exact same as the parents.
Its not to say these have good qualities in them, I've seen that too, but I've seen more of their criminal, rude, bad behaviors and they get away with it because their parents allowed them too. The parents are responsible for kids and they just don't even care how their behaviors taught their kids to be monstors. Literally. I know these people in person. I see it, I hear it.

You just have to pray that God will help them through this and guide them to the right direction. the key is, they will have to learn to listen...through love.

I do agree that kids' behavior these days is worse than what it used to be. Kids today are exposed to alot more than what we were though also. You turn on the television and what do you see? Homicides, school shootings, etc. I'm not saying that these things cause children to go out and do these things or other bad things but it does have a great influence on them. With some kids being this way and going to school with our kids we can't really expect for it not to end up affecting them.

The world is truly a different place. I feel that kids are treated differently by adults and are expected to be more "Grown up". Most kids, especially teens, have incredibly busy lives with sports, academics, and jobs. They deal with the stress of getting everything done and "in" on time. All of these things contribute to how a child or teen acts and their attitude. When they do have time off they don't know what to do with it. I think that it is our job to teach them how to handle these things. These things shouldn't change a child's attitude or their manners but I feel that it does anyways.

I'm sorry if you feel differently.