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Is it required at birthday parties? I NEVER expect people to bring gifts to a party. I remember times when we had zero money for gifts, and so I know how that feels. We would usually make things on those occasions.

But, I was just on another board where they were discussing this very thing. One mom was offended that she had just spent all this money and one of the kids showed up with no gift.

What do you think? Gifts - are they required at kids' birthday parties?

I know many of my friends right now are actually putting on the invites to not bring gifts....some say because they know money is tight and others because they just don't want anymore toys! One of my friends actually had everyone bring a gently book and then she and her son brought them to the hospital....
But if it doesn't say, we will bring a little something.

I have begun putting "no gifts nessecary" on my party invites. Some people bring gifts regardless and thats great, especially grand parents . By putting on the invitiation that gifts aren't expected it allows people to know that a gift is not required as your 'ticket' in the door and that you were given an invitation because we really want you to be a part of our celebration and not to see how much 'loot' we can get. It also should put an end to anyone looking down on someone who arrives without a gift.

KLM:
What a GREAT idea! I am going to copy you on this one

Last summer we threw a surprise party for our teeneage daughter. Each invitation read, "No gift necessary." Of the 25 teens who came, all but 2 brought gifts. The 2 who didn't spent the day apologizing to our daughter for not bringing a gift (they felt unnecessarily horrible).

One party our daughter attended asked that, in lieu of a gift, each person bring food or a toy or a blanket for the local animal shelter. I thought that was an excellent idea.

Now with the Dollar Tree Stores, gifts can be bought for very little.

There are many options, thankfully, when it comes to parties.

quote:

Originally posted by FLNonny:
Last summer we threw a surprise party for our teeneage daughter. Each invitation read, "No gift necessary." Of the 25 teens who came, all but 2 brought gifts. The 2 who didn't spent the day apologizing to our daughter for not bringing a gift (they felt unnecessarily horrible).

One party our daughter attended asked that, in lieu of a gift, each person bring food or a toy or a blanket for the local animal shelter. I thought that was an excellent idea.

Now with the Dollar Tree Stores, gifts can be bought for very little.

There are many options, thankfully, when it comes to parties.

Thats too bad that people still felt bad. I have done this for the past two years, putting 'no gifts nessecary' on invites, and it has worked great. My kids have some friends that can't afford gifts and this helps them to accept the invite. If you just verbally tell them no gifts and it isn't in black and white on the invite then if they see people bringing gifts they will think they were singled out because you thought they either wouldn't give a good gift or couldn't afford one. Having it on the invite seems to usually stop any bad feelings. Too bad it didn't work for that one. Unfortunately the idea of bringing a donation of some sort still has the guest expected to spend money to attend the event.

But like you said ...many options....just have to find what works best for each of us...

Our last party we did the "no gifts necessary" thing as well. My boys just don't need anymore toys, and I know how stressful it is to buy a gift along with all the day-to-day stuff. The ones who did bring gifts, we opened them privately before the friend left so it didn't make the kids who didn't bring them feel bad. I like the idea of bringing something to donate to charity -- how great!

My daughter's birthday is December 18. Awful timing when it comes to planning a party. Well, hubby and I planned J's 4th birthday party for somewhere around December 10. We invited her entire daycare which consisted of about 8 - 12 kids at the time. We didn't put anything on the invitation regarding gifts, although I didn't care whether gifts were brought or not. You want to know how many people showed up? None from the daycare. The only people to show were grandparents and J's twin cousins. I felt HORRIBLE. Thank goodness J was no older than she was. She really didn't know what she missed out on.

I suspect that because I did not put "No gifts necessary" right on the invitation, parents didn't want to send their kids giftless. With J's birthday being so close to Christmas, I'm sure many of the parents were over extended as it was. Since then I've always made it a point to put "No gifts necessary" in the invitation. I also moved her party back some, to the 2nd Saturday after Thankgiving. This way it's not quite so close to Christmas. We also invite lots of family and a few close friends that we know will show if they are able. Usually, since they are close friends, they buy gifts for J anyway. Not that she needs them.

I had my daughter's birthday party at Sun Country Gymnastics. She is little and so were her guests and we opted to let her open all her presents at home so the kids could have more time to play. And what 3 year old wants to watch another kid open presents? I had some relatives with hurt feelings though. THey wanted to watch my daughter open the presents. Its tough to please everyone.

I also like to do the gifts optional thing as well. My kids are not lacking in stuff. But one thing I like to do with my kids before gift giving holidays is go through their toys and, together, they get rid of old toys they don't want anymore. Then we give them away.
I know they will always get something from close family and friends, but I try to teach my kids that is it more important the time spend with those you care about than the items you have.