GainesvilleMoms.com

I need your advise, or thoughts, or support on something. Please don't judge me.

I'm a single mom like many out there. I live on a limited monthly income (disability under $900). I am on disability due to alot of my health (physicall and mental). however, my son who is now 19 suffers from musuclar dystrophy is also on his disability. He requires 24/7 care and so far its only been me. Even when I was sick in the hospital and I had no one to help me, I still had to give up my bed for him and care for him. Its seems that the system we have sucks big time.

I have fought for over 15 years for the child support increase and for it to continue due to his disability. well we won. only the problem is that because he is on SSI /medicaid, we can't even touch it. His father, whose income is over $100,000, lives in a nice big house and drives a nice car has not paid his obligation. He makes excuses. He is dishonest. He claims to be a christian. he has not made any sacrifices to help care for Tim. He has not even helped pay for his education, like he promised. He doesnt even understands or knows what sacrifice is. He thinks I'm trying to feed off of him, however the last 18 months I have been nice, kind and perhaps to forgiving in which he has not paid anything. He owes now over $5600 in child support.

right now, Tim and I are in the situation that we don't funds for food. I looked at my bank account and I have less than $24 in my account. according to AFDC, we still make "too much" for food stamps (yes can you believe this?). if we touch the child support (which is more than his SSI), he would loose the SSi which means he would loose the medicaid that pays for his medical expenses. I don't know yet if he can get back on Healthy Kids. since there is an issue there with the budget cuts.

I feel I do need to take him back to court and give up the SSI and try to get him on another mcaid program, if possible. but I rather do that than have no money for food. I can't depend on our government because they just don't get it, like Victor. Our rent just went up by $80. So that is $80 I don't have for food.

I have been praying and I do trust that God will help and take of us. But I also know He does not expect me to sit back and do nothing and let it fall on my lap. As it is, it was an answer to prayer that we won the child support last September...even if we couldn't touch it.

I feel there is a long road ahead of us...I don't what God has in plan for us. But at the same time, I can't let our household go without. I'm so tired of making sacrifices. As I told Victor,like him...I would like to have a relationship and get marry, i would like to own a house, I would like drive a nice car, I like to be debt free...but when will that ever happen. I've made my sacrifices over the years and the way my health is, I may die before Tim. When will I get my life back or will I ever? It hurts badly.

I ask for any suggestions...thoughts...or just your prayers. Please.

I'm sorry...I'm just trying to figure out what to do. My therapist says take him to court (which I have done). All I can say he is going to have to face God when judgment day comes. I am just sadden that I'm in this loose /loose situation.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Suzy Richardson,

Oh deebird, I'll definitely pray for you. But I do have two ideas. One is that there is a Food bankin town called the Bread of the Mighty Food Bank, 325 NW 10th ave. Second, is that if you have a utility bill, there are some agencies in town that can help you pay your utility bill. I can get the names and Px #'s if you need them. 3) One can also make a little extra money by selling one's old books or movies on www.half.com. It's a subsidary of ebay. You put in the isbn # of your product and what condition its in, and they tell you what the going rate is and its posted for buyers. You do have to be able to get the post office to ship off your items.

I ave to agree that it is a good idea to take him back to court. My sis is a single mom and hasn't been able to afford to take my nephew's dad to court...so they fight all the time about him helping her out (which is rare). My nephew is 11 and my sis has been doing it on her own forever. I agree with Kristin about the food bank and also about the help with bills. I'm also going to send you a message through yahoo messenger

def. utilize the internet for more resources/help...there are TONS of organizations out there... of course we all know there is little we can do about the health care system and medicade (I know that first hand)

So yes, use use use use the internet... there is tons out there. Also..start up a website for donations! Everyone does it, which can be both good and bad, the more they know about you the more they may want to help because they know you are not a scam. I would also start going to sites like onehigherpower.com for some good reads and support without always having direct conversation.

There is support out there, but like you said you gotta look for it, and then the master plan will unfold.

I am in a position to help as far as conversations and such.

Val

I, too, agree with a prior poster about seeking enforcement of the child support. Here's a link to the DoR website for child support enforcement.

http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/

Also, if you need the assistance of an attorney for whatever reason, try Three Rivers Legal Services, a local office that provides free or low cost legal services in the Eighth Judical Circuit.

901 NW 8th Avenue, Suite D-5
Gainesville, FL 32605
352-372-0519

Another resource for legal aid would be the Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service, which refers you to an attorney based on your location and your specific needs. The first half hour consultation is $25.00.
800-342-8011

Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)
Services are provided to participants who meet TANF eligibility requirements for Temporary Cash Assistance (TCA) or as a TANF Diversion Family (TDF) with treatment needs. Pre service groups, referrals and consultation with One-Stop Career Centers are used to identify TANF clients.


Another resource for a variety of services is Meridian Behavioral Healthcare:

4300 SW 13th Street
Gainesville, FL 32608
374-5600

Food resources:

Bread of the Mighty Food Bank 352-336-0839
Gainesville Harvest 352-378-3663

ACORN Clinic
Low-Income Healthcare Program
To provide medical and dental care for low-income persons and families
Acorn Clinic Inc.
23320 N. State Road 235
Brooker, FL 32622
Medical (352)485-1133
Dental (352)485-2772

And don't discount local churches as resources for not only support and prayer, certainly, but also for possible use of their discretionary funds resources. That's what they're there for.

God bless you and your son...I have a disabled brother, and I know firsthand all that goes in to caring for a special needs family member...the physical, the financial, the emotional and mental....it takes a special kind of special someone to keep up the good work. You and Tim are in my family's prayers.

I think TripleAmom summed it all up for us... there is still hope for resources and there is ALWAYS support.

As rough as it is, like she said, it takes a very special person to do what you do, to endure, to take all that you can take. You are obviously a beautiful person.

Wow. TripleAMom, thanks so much for all of the amazing tips. Those, I know, are very helpful. You can also call Catholic Charities; they too have a food back, open daily from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. I think; and they offer utility and rent assistance. You should google them. The number will pop right up.

I'm so sorry that your going though all this.I think the other women have given awsome advice and info.You and your son will be in my prayers,please keep us posted.I hope all gets better

Oh...I completely forgot too....i heard a radio commercial last week for this group http://www.supportkids.com/
They help you collect back support! They do charge but only if they are able to collect for you and it will come out of the support...I don;t know how much it is but I have heard that they are REALLY good at getting it for you.

That sounds like something worth looking in to in a situation like this.

thanks you for all your suggestions, thoughts and prayers. My therapist also called with some suggestions. So Tuesday morning, I'll be making some visits and calls.

safe hugz!