GainesvilleMoms.com

I have two Aunt's who live in Pennsylvania. It's rare that we see each other, maybe once every few years though we keep in contact by phone and email.

Most recently I visited in August to attend my cousin's high school graduation party and to see family before it got too late for me to fly.

One of my Aunt's emailed me today and included a mention that she and Aunt #2 were considering coming down to visit while I'm on maternity leave for 12 weeks.

When would the best time for this be? Early on I know we'll be exhausted and getting our life adjusted to a new baby and then towards the end I imagine that I'll be wanting to spend as much time with the baby as possible before returning to work.

So.. somewhere in the middle? I hate to give them a narrow block of time to work with but I also want to be fair to myself and my family here as well. The last time both of my aunt's came down together was for my wedding in 2000.

If you are able to do so, I would suggest giving them a 4 week block of time right in the middle that's convenient for you. This way they can choose travel dates/times that are reasonably priced and convenient for them. But, this also gives you some discretion over when they visit.

Will they be staying with you or in a hotel? I would suggest that if it's at all possible they stay in a hotel. The night time routine of a new born is hard enough on everyone without it being complicated by live in guests. Unless of course you aren't breastfeeding and they would be willing to take some of the feedings. Whatever you are comfortable with.

Oh my goodness I would hope they would be able to stay in a hotel and just visit with you some and then let you go about your routine. If they are going to have to stay with you, I would give them the block of time and then ask them to let you know which few days they will be in town so you can be sure your calendar is most clear. This way they understand you need your time but will make time for them, on a short basis, and not plan a long vacation. Not to be mean about you seeing your Aunts but I do remember how much there was to get under control (and I will let you know as soon as that happens again...lol) and having 2 more people in the house plus a newborn, the mere thought sends my OCD into overdrive!

That said, there are also those people who know all of this all too well and they show up, push you back onto the couch/recliner/bed and take over doing all sorts of helpful things while staying out of your way. Those are the amazing ones to have visit because they leave pre-cooked meals in the freezer, cupboards cleaned and organized, laundry caught up and your house is nice and clean so you really can have some time for yourself. I know once I even found the occasional $20 tucked into some unusual spot left behind by this type and it was a nice little surprise too! It is odd to open a prescription bottle and have a $20 fall out, and unfortunately those are not eligible for refill at CVS...

With a two bedroom house they'd definitely have to stay at a hotel of which there are plenty nearby. I can't quite see them doing the cooking/cleaning thing as they'll probably only stay a few days unless they stay with a friend in Ft. Myers. Knowing Aunt #2 (it's her friend) she'll try to squeeze that in somehow even though it's a 4-5 hour drive up to my house from there....

So, first things first and I actually have to give birth and THEN we'll try to organize a time for them to come down. I'll try to let hubby handle it, see how it goes... LOL We call my FIL "The Enforcer" and I can see hubby following in his footsteps.

Delegation is key!! It will all go fine, no matter how much or how little you plan, it will be fine. The good news is if you get to a point where you scream at everyone to get the hell out, you can always blame it on hormones...LOL

You are soooooo lucky to have an enforcer to protect you!!! You will never have to be the bad guy. The key thing is not to feel pressured into hostessing or making their trip fun. Feel free to be totally selfish--especially since you only have a limited time at home. That time is all about you and your baby.

You are soooooo lucky to have an enforcer to protect you!!! I am the one that had to lay down the law with the family when we brought Kaylee home. I just blamed it on hormones but I really needed space and time for us to bond as a family.

That's wonderful you have some family coming to visit with you. I really enjoyed having my mom stay with me for a few days after the baby was born. That being said...I agree with the other moms in that you have every right to be selfish when your family comes! You are the one who is going to be having a baby in just a little while. So I think it would be just fine if you tell your aunts when you'd like visitors. And if you ever start to feel overwhelmed while the aunts are at your home and need a some time with just you and the baby, your aunts will completely understand. It sounds like you have a wonderful hubby who will make sure you are happy.

What an exciting time in your life and so nice to have family to share it with. That being said, it is really hard to know how you will feel after the baby is born. I do agree that getting breastfeeding going right is very hard in the beginning. If you plan to breastfeed, I would HIGHLY encourage you to try to keep things quiet and peaceful for the first 2-3 weeks. Those Moms on this site who did breastfeed (I think quite a few) know what a rocky road that can be in the beginning. Give yourself some time to get that established well before you open your home up too much. It is hard to describe all of the reasons why! A few would be, pumps, unbelievably sore nipples, tears, mid night run to Walmart to buy diff pumps, pads, the right size diapers that do not leak, more tears, gigantic painful breasts, hot compresses, hot showers, tears, crazy potions to get the milk flowing, tears, a crying hungry baby, a exhausted and overly concerned and really frustrated hubby ( as he does not know what to do and cannot just fix it-causing him much grief), pretty much living in your bath robe as you need quick access for the baby (and you are too sore /exhausted to consider squeezing your still swollen belly into anything –not that anything fits right). So, you get the picture? The first few weeks was not a good time for a ton of spectators. We ahd a few quick visits. Beyond that, you may want (need) a TON of privacy. BTW those first few weeks are so wonderful & beauiful despite the things I listed here-you will want time to enjoy that too!!!!

LEW, I loved your list! I'm sure many of us can relate.