What would you do if your husband or wife betrayed you? Would you keep the family together by forgiving him or her and working out your problems or would you leave? Which do you think is the best thing to do and why?http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,336691,00.html

This is a good topic! I'd love to hear what you other married women out there would do, or if you have had to make the decision about whether to "stand by your man" or not. Although, when there are kids involved, I do believe that you must consider them as well.

Honestly, my first inclination would be to run, or better yet, to make him leave. Although there are too many other things you have to take into consideration before making that kind of decision. You don't want to stand by a man who is teaching your children that cheating is okay, or hitting or verbal abuse or any of that. So, for me it would depend A LOT on if he was sorry, if he was seeking help for a problem, etc. If he was just brushing it off like nothing ot refusing to change or refusing to even acknowledge the problem, then that is a problem.

I know a lot of people stay together because of the kids, but how do you justify staying with someone regardless of the situation for the children if the children are the ones who will end up getting hurt? So, there is not cut and dry answer for this one. The only thing I can say is that I am glad I am not in her shoes right now.



And p.s., here is what her friends are telling her to do. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,336691,00.html

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Suzy Richardson,

Another trend is that women who have husbands in the spotlight will stand by their man during the heavy media coverage and then leave afterwards. I have heard they do it for the kids a lot of times.

She needs to take her girls and run across the country from this man. Sicko!!!!

I've thought long and hard about this situation and knowing that he hired another woman to fulfill his sexual desires multiple times, I'd run hard and fast.

It would take a lot to restore a marriage after something like that and I don't know if I'd have it in me to even try!

What about the vows and the forgiveness? I know he broke them by being with other women but what if he stops and is truly sorry. Then she would have left for nothing.

Forgiveness??

If it happened once - I would say get some intense counseling and stay to work it out.

If it happened twice or even 3 times - ok.. it MIGHT be salvagable...

BUT MULTIPLE times?? Did I hear it was over $80,000 worth of sex with a prostitute???

Sorry - even as a christian, my forgiveness can't stretch that far.

I watched the news conference and she looked absolutely devastated! And now, the prostitute's face is being plastered all over the place, all 22 years of her. Man, I feel so bad for this wife. I wonder what she'll do next...

I would run, really fast. I would also insist that if he ever wanted to see his children he would have to go to some counseling on a regular basis to deal with his issues. Prostitution is a high risk offense that endangers himself and his family.

I know they talked about how much money he had spent, but does anyone know how long it had been going on for?

My husband told me that this went on for 6 years and yes, he spent $80,000! Think of how he could have invested that money (on his wife marriage maybe???)

But I have to wonder after six years and $80,000, surely his wife had to know something was up. Surely she suspected something! I mean, he may have been that good, to be able to hide it all, but she seems like a smart woman. Who knows what was really going on behind closed doors, ya know?

As far as vows and forgiveness is concerned, I think it really depends on the situation. My dad was sorry every time he broke his marriage vows. Yup. Every single time he was done with the other woman.

Sometimes the hurt is just too much for sorry to make things better. Sorry doesn't erase the humiliation, degredation, and pain caused by 6 years and $80,000.

And forgiveness doesn't necessarily require that a woman stay after such betrayal. If she leaves, it doesn't mean she hasn't forgiven him, just that she is looking out for herself, and her daughters. The man could have given her a disease for all she knows!

Yes, you guys are right...prostitution is extremely high-risk. Not to mention that he reportedly wanted to have sex with no protection with a prostitute. Now that's just insane! And you are right hotmomma, why does everyone correlate forgiveness with staying? I think you could leave and still forgive.

I don't know about the "the wife had to know!" I have a friend who was married to a very Godly man she thought for 8-9 years - with 3 kids (one who passed away as a premie) and she didn't have a CLUE until after she came home from the ultrasound from their 4th child that he has been having affairs THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE MARRIED. She is one of the smartest women I know. She has great gut instincts and is very wise in her though processes but - she trusted the man she met at a christian college. She trusted the man she taught sunday school with. She trusted the man who wanted to be on the mission field with her when they got older. She trusted the man who was the father of her children. She trusted the man who was by her side through the birth and death of their 6 month old little boy who never made it home from the hospital. She never had a clue that all these "business" trips he was going on - were actually to meet other women and carry on a sexual relationship with them. She had no clue. If SHE didn't have a clue - you can't convince me that this wife should have had a clue...

and you're right - forgiveness doesn't equate staying. Eventually - she will have to forgive him to be able to move on in life but right now - no - and under no circumstances would I agree to her staying.

The sad thing about this is that their girls are old enough to know what is going on. And now this prostitute is making even more money with her music as it is being played and plastered all over and they get to see it.
If this has gone on for six years, how did he keep it covered up during his election process? Money talks I guess!
I am sure that being in the public eye makes it much more difficult to deal with. Everyone is watching to see what she does. I just don't think that I, being the mother of a son and daughter, could stay and let my children think that it is o.k. to stand for this. Not only has she been humiliated in front of all of the nation (if not the world), but in front of her daughters. Not to mention their own humiliation for their father's behavior.
As a wife, mother and most of all being a prideful woman, I would RUN! Maybe forgive for the sake of my soul and my daughters, but definitely RUN! Once, forgive and stay, twice, that is pushing it. Six years and $80,000 worth is asking a little much to swallow with a smile. All we can do is keep her and her daughters in our prayers and pray that we never have to face her pain.

Six years?! You're kidding me, right? Whoa. I had no idea it had been going on THAT long!