Once upon a time, kids referred to their parents, and adults in general, as "sir" and "ma'am." This sort of respectful behavior is all but dead in today's youth, and this following article illustrates how terms like "Mom and Dad" and "Mr. and Mrs." are similarly going out of style. It's an interesting read.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2008/06/28/no...ens_talk_to_parents/

What do you all think? Personally, I like being called "daddy", but when my daughters have friends come over I think "Mr. Hensley" will be an appropriate way for them to refer to me.

I grew up very 'loosey goosey' with such terms but often used mr. and mrs./ms.

However we preach Sir, Ma'am for family and strangers, mr. and ms./mrs. for friends/neighbors (unless close friends, then they tend to call them by name) and of course mama and papa.

But yes it is a dying respect that I feel most people appreciate it being relived in our children. Respect is always good.

As I have mentioned before, my parents were "hip". They asked us to call them by their first names....my family was kinda like the one portrayed on that old 80's TV show Family Ties. My brother was even just like Alex . The character of the mother could have been written for my mother! The father was almost like my Dad, but not quite. My Dad was more like the father on Darhma and Greg...anyway you get the picture! As a small child I was embarrassed not to call my parents Mom and Dad. I always wanted to have my children call us Mommy and Daddy, they do and I LOVE it!!!! I never liked it when a wife called her husband "Dad", or a husband called his wife "Mom". We seem to be doing this. Is anyone else guilty of this? Our excuse though is that we just forget what the other's name is! When my husband can recall my name, and uses it, I find it very flirty...almost like the old days b4 I was "Mom". To any future boyfriends/girlfriends we want to be Mr.& Mrs.

I try to get my oldest to say "yes, ma'am" or "no, sir" when he's asking for us something or answering a question, but it's about 50/50 that he'll do it -- the same with "Please" and "Thank you." But I think he should use that same respect with any adult figure. Right now his friends refer to us as Miss and Mr. and then our first names, that seems to be what works with their age group. But as they get older, I think Mr. and Mrs. is what teens should use when addressing any adult.

LEW, as far as my husband and I, we do catch ourselves calling each other Mommy and Daddy. We just started doing this more. I think because we used to use our first names, and my 3-year-old picked up on it and started calling us by our first names, too.

Especially when the kids are very young, its easy to call each other Mommy and Daddy. I mean, we're trying to teach them what to call us, anyway, so why confuse them with real names?

It's funny, though, because I am a "pet name" type of guy. I tend to call my wife "honey" or sometimes "pumpkin" and only use her real name when I am ticked off. So using "mommy" comes pretty naturally for me, when the kids are around.

Even funnier to me, is that I have actually begun to THINK OF MYSELF as "Daddy" now. But that's the topic for a whole blog.

Its funny because I still refer to my husband as Shawn, but if I want something for the baby I call him "Daddy." Madalyn calls us Mama and Dada (and sometimes Mommy, which seems so grown up to me!)

As far as what other kids call us it is usually Mr. Shawn and Miss Jaime... and I think that will probably stick for awhile, but as we are dealing with older kids it will change to Mr and Mrs...

So true! We think of ourselves as Mommy and Daddy now. We refer to ourselves as Mommy and Daddy (first person) and as I stated earlier, tend to call each other Mommy and Daddy when the kids are around (which is 99.9999% of the time). Some of the many things we thought silly and sad before we had kids and now would not have any other way!!!

P.S My brother calls my sister-in-law "babe". He hardly ever uses her name. Now, my 4 year old niece has started calling her Mom "babe".

I am not sure how my kids will address my husband and I as they get older. I think we will just go with the flow as they get older. Right now I am mom and my husband they call by his first name. (their step father). I imagine they will always call my husband by his first name.
I do believe they should use sir and ma'am as well as please and thank you with certain people and strangers. And they should always address people they know the names of with a Ms/Mrs and Mr in front.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by myspiritwithin:

I do believe they should use sir and ma'am as well as please and thank you with certain people and strangers.
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When I came down from Maine to teach in a Tampa middle school (1987), I was used to "Ma'am" and "Sir" being used scarcastically (they are not used in Maine unless the person is being rude).

When a boy named Jeffrey Jarvis (I STILL remember the poor boy's name) kept responding to me with "Yes, Ma'am," I finally had had enough and gave him a detention for being so rude. The boy went home with his detention paper (which didn't state anything but "rudeness" on it) and was given a "spanking with a switch." The next day the kids filled me in on what had happened to Jeffrey at home and how Jeffrey had not been rude to me (telling me a day earlier would have helped). I felt HORRIBLE (still do). I apologized to Jeffrey many times and sent a note home to his father. I never heard another word, but I made sure to stick close to Jeffrey thru the school year. I have always wondered how the polite boy with a rough homelife (rough in many ways, including dealing with poverty) turned out and if he ever truly forgave me.

With that said, my children have a bad habit of calling my friends by their first names because they have heard my husband and me refer to them by first names. I work hard at correcting them, but I have not been very successful. I always make sure I tell my friends that their MOTHER is the one to blame for not instilling a good sense of "Miss," "Mrs." or "Mr." in them when they were very young!

As for the "Miss" or "Mr" with the first names, that's a Southern thing that I have yet (after 21 yrs here) been able to wrap my arms around...I really hate that and I can't even tell you why.

I recently moved here from CA and I do think the "sir" and "ma'am" thing is definitely cultural. I have never been called ma'am so many times in my life since I moved here. I suppose every culture and generation has it's own rules of etiquette. In L.A., the circle of friends that I was around (specifically the Korean culture), it was rude to wear your shoes inside their homes. But here, everyone does it.

I have raised my boys to say their pleases and thank yous, along with other manners, but since moving here I am trying to learn along with them their "Southern" manners.

I call my in-laws by their first names and they wouldn't have it any other way. My MIL told me that "Mrs. _" is her MIL's name!

As far as knowing what to have the kids call other adults, I usually just ask the adults what they would prefer to be called, whether it's Mr._ or Mrs., or by their first names

I THANK GOD FOR MY SON, HE'S VERY RESPECTFUL AND WITH MANORS. I HAVE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AND MY SISTER-IN-LAW LILIBIT56; THAT HELP ME WITH THIS AND WHEN HUBBY AND I SPEAK TO EACH OTHER WE CALL EACH OTHER MAMA OR DADDY. HE ALWAYS SAYS YES SIR AND YES MAM', EXCUSE ME AND PLEASE. I HOPE IT NEVER CHANGES. AND IF IT DOES I HOPE IS SOMETHING BETTER.
MY DAUGHTER IN THE OTHER HAND USED TO CALL MY SON DADDY AND NOW IS "AEX" (ALEX). AND SHE CALLS MY HUSBAND PAPI. WE ARE WORKING ON HER CALLING ME MAMA NOW. AND SINCE SHE'S LEARNED AND KEEPS LEARNING SO MUCH FROM "AEX", I HOPE ONE DAY SHE'LL PICK UP GOOD MANNERS FROM HIM TOO.

So funny. We were in Cracker Barrel and the waitress came over to me and said "It's so nice to hear kids say yes ma'am."

Well, my kids do not always have to say yes ma'am to me. But, they have learned to say it when I am giving them instruction on things to do. That seems to work well for us.

On this day, my instruction was to clean up your area. We always do that, too. I can't stand children thinking they can leave napkins on the ground/food everywhere simply because there is a waitress.

I ALWAYS make them clean up behind themselves, no matter where we are. I think it teaches them to value and respect their areas and others' areas as well. (Now that's a-whole-nother post.)

Tina, that's so funny, I have an "AEX" too...he's 3 1/2 and the "L" sound just recently begun to be heard when he says his name...but, I still have the babies to call their big brother by that name. So cute!

I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE TOO. MY NIECE FIRST CALLED HIM THAT WAY WHEN I WAS BABYSITTING HER (LILBIT1656'S DAUGHTER). I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS SOOO CUTE !! I SAID TO MYSELF I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT AMY WILL BE CALLING HIM. WHEN I HEARD "AEX" THE FIRST TIME FROM HER MOUTH I JUST JUMP UP AND DOWN. SHE'S CALLING HIM "AEX" TOO. JUST TO HEAR AND SEE HER PROGRESS IS AWSOME. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD.
SO IS ANY OF THE BROTHERS CALLING YOUR BOY "AEX" YET?